The Hysteria Nomenclature
by PrincessButtercup83
Summary: Okay, so they're together. Now what?
1. Chapter 1

"-all I'm saying is if the State of the Union pushes back the 'Lost' premiere, I'ma cut a bitch," Penny snarled as she flipped through channels at high speed. She felt four pairs of eyes fall on her and she looked at them. "What? There are some things more important than the state of our union." She turned her attention back to the television and landed on a rerun of 'Kitchen Nightmares'. "And 'Lost' is one of them."

"While I believe the your statement to be in line with our views, I think you're missing an important part." She turned to look at Sheldon, who sat precisely in the center of his cushion. "It isn't as if the premiere will cease to exist if it isn't shown when it's scheduled. It will simply be ready for viewing at a later date."

Penny leaned toward him menacingly. "Cut a bitch," she repeated, getting in his face. He pulled as far back from her as he could without falling over the end of the couch. "Why are you being so calm about this anyway? This is been on your schedule since they announced the airdate."

Sheldon gave her comment some thought. "True," he finally conceded. "But I try never to let the White House dictate my life."

She rolled her eyes and went back to flipping channels, barely seeing what was on one before switching to the next. "Whatever," she finally said, signifying the end of the conversation. Silence fell among the five of them.

"Um," Leonard finally said. Penny turned to find him with a confused expression on his face that volleyed back and forth between Sheldon and herself. "Are you guys dating then, or what?"

Penny turned her head to the side and studied Sheldon's response to that question. He furrowed his brow and she saw his jaw lock. "I'm afraid I don't understand the question."

She shifted in her seat, turning toward him. "I think he's asking if we are actually in a relationship now." She willed him to understand what his roommate was asking. Giving up after a moment, she acknowledged Leonard again. "Not really, no."

Leonard nodded quickly before giving her a tight smile and excusing himself to retrieve a Diet Coke from the fridge. Howard and Raj were huddled together in the middle of an argument about where or not changing from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhal in the 'Batman' series was a trade up or trade down. Penny took the opportunity to turn back to Sheldon. She leaned in to him and he gave her a wary glance. "You know," she said in a low voice. "We're currently not doing anything differently than we were before we made out at the New Year's Party last week."

Sheldon blinked at her. "I disagree."

"No," Penny said in a sarcastically astounded tone. Sheldon rolled his eyes in response.

"I've been exceedingly more polite to you," he stated. "For instance, last night you chewed with your mouth open for half of dinner and I said nothing." Penny's mouth quirked up on one side. She nodded and went back to pushing buttons on the remote, drawing an outburst from Howard. She heard Sheldon huff loudly and glanced over at him. "I believe we could move faster in this conversation if you would just tell me what it is you want, Penny."

She grinned and put down the remote. "I think…" she trailed off as she noticed that all eyes were on her again. "Hallway?" she asked sweetly as she stood from the couch and motioned toward the door. Sheldon rolled his eyes and followed her, muttering to himself about how everyone else should have to leave the room. He pulled the door shut behind them with a click and pushed his hands into his pockets.

"The floor, as they say, is yours," he announced.

Penny nervously tucked her hair behind her ears as she bounced on the balls of her feet. He gave her a look that said he thought she was possibly having a seizure. "I think we should maybe um…..go out?" She bit her lip nervously. Sheldon's eyes grew in size. She cleared her throat before reaffirming. "Yes, yes I do."

"I suppose we could do that," he agreed, taking his hands out of his pocket and crossing his arms over his chest. "Of course, we'll have to bump Wolowitz." He paused. "And you'll have to order the Vegetable Lo Mein."

Penny narrowed her eyes, waiting for the breathy laugh that would indicate he was joking. It didn't come. "Uh, well…that's the right spirit," she answered, giving him a thumb's up. "But I was thinking maybe just the two of us, together."

"Oh," he nodded, and then stopped and stared at her. "Oh." She nodded slowly in response.

"Yeah," she replied.

"I see," he stammered.

Penny exhaled. "You're stalling."

"Yes," he responded with a twitch.

She watched him for a moment, waiting for him to meet her eye. When he did, the twitch doubled. Penny sighed deeply and crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, it was not…." She shrugged and moved past him. "It can just be one of those things that happened or something."

"Allow me to think for one minute," Sheldon muttered after her and Penny stopped, her hand on the door knob. She turned and looked at him. He was facing her, with an expression Penny had assumed was reserved for people who had guns pointed at their heads. "Penny, would you like to accompany me out for dinner tomorrow night?"

She swallowed back the tiny squeal that wanted to get out and smiled at him. "Well, Sheldon. This is so out of the blue." She batted her eyelashes at him comically. He rolled his eyes at her before fidgeting slightly.

"This is a date then?" he asked.

"Yes?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

Sheldon swallowed and nodded. "Alright then. How does one go about dating these days?"

"What are you, sixty?" Penny cracked, squinting at him.

He gave her a sarcastic smile. "I aim to merely inform you that this will be my first date." He paused. "What kind of things do I get to anticipate? Bungee jumping? Ballroom dancing?"

This time, Penny couldn't help the giggle from escaping her. "I'll get you a full-page summary written up tonight and have it on your desk in the morning, sir." She gave him a mock salute.

"Good," he answered with a firm nod. He approached her, reaching for the door knob behind her. She didn't move, appraising him for a moment.

"I was kidding," she noted. He looked at her and gave her a small chuckle that showed he really was trying to be polite to her. "You'll be fine," she said as she gave his arm a small pat. To Sheldon's credit, he didn't squirm away from her this time. She paused, thinking over what she had just said. "Or maybe, after everyone else goes home tonight, you could get some pointers from Leonard?"

"Oh good," Sheldon answered sarcastically. "That will be a fun conversation to have."

"It'll be great," Penny stated with a smile. She reached up on her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Trust me."

Sheldon mumbled an unintelligible answer, fingers touching his cheek as he opened the door for her.

"I'm going to go home I think," she responded, hooking her thumb over her shoulder toward her own apartment. "I'll…see you tomorrow, though?"

He looked slightly off-kilter for a moment, but regained his composure almost instantly. "Yes. Have a good night."

"You too," Penny smiled at him and saw his eyes darken ever so slightly. She felt butterflies take flight in her ribcage. She opened the door to her apartment and slid inside quickly, shutting the door behind her. She laid her head back against the door and exhaled.

There were so many ways this thing could end badly.

* * * * *

Penny lifted her tip off of the table and stuffed it into her apron pocket, shaking her head as she did. People definitely did not take jobs as servers because the pay was so good. She helped Ben the new busboy clear off the table. Together they stacked glasses and reset silverware in companionable silence. She carried the tub of dirty dishes into the kitchen, Ben on her heels.

"So Penny, how old are you?" he asked in a shy voice. She rolled her eyes as she hefted the tub onto the dishwashing counter. She turned and gave him an overly sweet smile.

"Too old," came a voice from behind him, effectively cutting her off. Penny glanced over Ben's shoulder at her co-worker, Jennifer. "Way too old for you, kid."

"You're one to talk," Penny shot back with a wry grin. "Seriously, Mrs. Robinson." Ben looked between the two women and retreated quietly. "You didn't even let me turn him down in my own cute and charming way," Penny pouted as she filled empty glass racks.

"That's good, yeah." Jennifer printed out a receipt from the computer she was standing in front of. "Lead on the young impressionable new kid here. That usually works well for you."

The young blonde glared at her elder. "Give me one example," she countered, hand on her hip.

Jen gave her a leveling stare. "Really? How about Ian and Mike and…who was that really butch manager that worked here for like a week?"

"Pam," Penny answered, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah," Jennifer gave a low chuckle. She stepped through the swinging door and back through an instant later. "Um, what's his name? The little nervous one. With the glasses?"

"What are you talking about?" Penny asked, laughing.

"The ex-boyfriend? I think?" Jennifer shrugged. "He's here."

Penny sighed and bit her lip. She peered through the small window in the door.

Crap.

Leonard stood awkwardly by the hostess stand, arms crossed over his chest. Penny pushed through the door and approached him quietly. "Hey Leonard," she greeted with an overly bright smile. "What's up?"

He squinted at her in disbelief through his thick glasses. "What's up?" he repeated sarcastically. Penny's smile faltered. "Did you really tell Sheldon to ask me for pointers on how to date you?" His voice was strangled, on the verge of hysterical even.

"Not exactly," Penny refuted slowly. "It was more like I told him to talk to you about dating in general."

"Penny," Leonard stated, running his hands through his hair. "Let's set aside the fact that we only broke up like two months ago." Penny grimaced. "I told you I loved you the same night you hooked up with _Sheldon_." He shook his head. "Or whatever it is you're doing or did or…." He shook his head, as if trying to rid the entire conversation from his memory. "This whole thing is just too much and you can't." He looked at her pleadingly. "You can't ask me to do this for him. For you."

She nodded her head. "You're right. I'm so sorry, Leonard." Penny felt the urge to rush forward and embrace him, but she held back. Her instinct to be friends with Leonard had to be less important that remembering that she was his ex-girlfriend and he clearly still cared for her. To Penny, it had seemed like much longer ago that they had been dating. "I'll call him off."

Leonard gave her an incredulous look. "Yeah, you do that." He sighed.

"I really am sorry."

"Yeah," he answered. "Well, I should get back to work." The awkward tension in the air between them was palpable. Penny had the distinct feeling that this entire thing was going to end badly, and that things would never be the same between she and Leonard.

She hoped she was wrong, though.

The second he was pushing his way out through the glass door with a little wave to her, Penny was streaking into the kitchen and tearing into her purse. She pulled it out and sent a text message as quickly as her fingers would work.

_leonard is kinda pissed. maybe don't talk to him about the thing tonight? _

He must have been doing much at the moment, because Penny expected not to get a response for a while, if at all from him. But, she only need wait twenty seconds for him to text back.

_He did seem brusque this morning when I mentioned it on the way to work. I also should point out it was your idea._

Penny rolled her eyes. Who the hell used the term 'brusque' in text? She sighed and let her fingers slide over the keys again.

_Sorry :\ you'll be fine on your own though. please no star wars_

"Penny, you have a table." She looked up from her phone to her manager, Paul.

She gave him a wide, fake smile and flipped her phone shut. A moment later, it buzzed. Moving quickly, Penny flipped it back open to read Sheldon's response.

_We held a viewing of the original trilogy just before I was called away to Texas. I'll be over at seven this evening. _

Penny took a deep breath and put the phone away. Now she just had to get through the next four hours of her shift without focusing on how many different ways this whole thing could blow up in her face.

* * * * *

Penny flipped her head over, tousling and spraying frenetically. When she flipped her hair back again and stood to her normal height, she had achieved the desired effect. It was loose and curly and fell around her shoulders perfectly. She tossed her head in time to the music for a couple seconds, letting the song seep into her body. Her hips shot out to one side, then the other.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Penny checked her lip gloss in her bathroom mirror before grinning at her reflection and hurrying toward the door. She pulled her iPod off of its dock and set it on the table.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She took a deep breath and put her hand on the knob, waiting patiently for him to finish his ritual.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She opened the door with a flourish and smiled at him. He awkwardly thrust his arm toward her, offering her a bunch of fresh daisies. Penny bit her lip and took them. Sheldon's mouth quirked up on one side as wiped his palm against his pant leg.

"Thank you," Penny murmured before opening the door more widely and leaving him to find a vase. He followed wordlessly, closing the door behind himself. "I love daisies."

"Yes, I remember," he answered in a jittery tone. He seated himself on the left cushion of her couch.

Penny turned from filling the vase with tap water to look at him. "What do you mean you remember?"

"March of last year," he responded as he leaned forward to peruse her magazine collection. "You were dating….I believe it was Ryan." He looked up at her with a small smile. "He presented you with a similar variety after standing you up one evening."

Penny's eyes got large. She didn't think Sheldon paid any attention to that sort of thing, to her at all. "You remember that?" she asked.

"Mmm," he nodded, finally deciding on 'Cosmo' and picking it up from the stack to thumb through it. "I have an Eidetic memory, Penny." She placed the vase of flowers on the kitchen counter and walked over to the living room to sit next to him on the couch. "It was 'Halo' night, but Raj had been sick, so our teams were uneven. You came over and said you could play because that jerk Ryan had stood you up. The next morning, while in the process of stealing our milk one ounce at a time, you mentioned he had brought you daisies."

Penny chuckled uneasily. "You are one of a kind, kid." She leaned forward to find him scanning an article entitled 'How To Please Your Man In The Sack' and snorted.

"Everybody is one of a kind, Penny." He closed the magazine and placed it back on the coffee table, straightening the stack to his specifications.

"So, flowers then?" she asked him, looking over her shoulder at the vase.

"Yes, well…" He turned toward her slightly, angling his body on the sofa. "I admit I was at a loss as to what would be expected of me this evening. So I did the only thing that made sense." He paused. "I googled it." Penny's eyebrows rose. Of course he did. "The website I visited had any number of helpful tips, one of them being that flowers and chocolate are always a good start." He shrugged before reaching for the inside pocket on his hideous plaid blazer. He pulled out a Butterfinger and handed it to her. Smiling, Penny took it from him.

"How did you know Butterfinger was my favorite?" she asked, clutching it in her fingers.

"I didn't," he answered with another shrug. "They were on sale two for a dollar at the gas station on the corner and I thought one sounded good."

Penny closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head. When she opened them again, Sheldon was looking at her somewhat expectantly. "So, you found a website?" she asked.

"Yes, it suggested I make sure I'm ready for safe sex," Sheldon stated as he reached into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out a square piece of foil. Penny let out a bark of a laugh.

"Where on earth did you get that?" she asked, grabbing it from him.

He pulled it back instantly and returned it to its place before putting his wallet away. "Howard keeps a stash of them in our bathroom, in case of…." He paused. "Well, I don't really want to think about what it might be in case of."

"That's probably better," Penny agreed with a grimace. "So, are we ready?" she asked as she stood. He rose as well, looking as awkward as ever.

"I suppose," he answered, sounding as if he would have taken other offers.

Penny set her jaw and stared at him for a moment, eyes narrowed. "What would you say about…maybe leaving the blazer home this trip?" She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side.

Sheldon looked down at himself before meeting her eyes. "The website said to dress nicely."

Penny nodded. "I agree." She moved toward him. "So, what would you say about maybe leaving the blazer home then?" He glanced down at himself again before slowly unbuttoning his jacket and handing it over to her. She gently laid it over the back of her couch.

"The weather report said it was supposed to get chilly tonight," he noted with a wistful glance at it.

"I'll let you wear my jacket if you get cold," she promised with a solemn nod. He narrowed his eyes and allowed his mouth to slide into a sarcastic sneer. She moved toward him with a grin and put her hands against his ribcage as she slipped past him to pull her coat off of the hook next to her door. He fidgeted slightly at the contact. She tried not to roll her eyes back into her head. "So, did you have a plan for supper?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

He stood there in her living room in a shirt and tie, hands shoved into his pockets. Penny could almost imagine it was a normal guy she'd met at the grocery store. "No," Sheldon stated. "I thought you might like to make the choice." She stopped dead, her eyes wide.

"And you're….okay with that?" she asked unsurely.

"I brought my own fork," he intoned quietly, as if waiting for her to laugh at him. She only smiled before opening the door and ushering him out.

* * * * *

In the end, everybody won. Penny decided that given the night, they should go to Souplantation for dinner. She watched his eyes light up as she pulled into the parking lot and heard him quietly mutter something about creamy tomato soup. "So, this works?" she asked sarcastically.

They stepped into the lobby and the hostess smiled in recognition of Sheldon. Penny realized this girl worked hard for her tips, because she'd never seen anyone respond to seeing Sheldon by smiling at him. "Hi, Dr. Cooper. I didn't see you order back there."

"There isn't one. We will be eating here this evening," he offered with a tight smile before looking at Penny. Penny grinned at the girl, who seemed surprised by this turn of events. She grabbed menus and led them to a booth. When the girl had left them alone, Penny looked over the top of her menu at him.

"She seems to know you," she mentioned.

"We pick up an order every Wednesday," Sheldon answered without looking up at her.

"She's cute," Penny remarked. At this, Sheldon finally met her eyes, placing his own menu flat on the table top.

"Is she?" he asked with a sigh.

"I'm just saying," Penny replied with an innocent shrug.

"Should I go ask her if she wants to help me use the prophylactic currently in my wallet?" he asked with a blank stare. Penny dropped her head to her hands in embarrassment. "Alright then," he finished and brought the menu back up.

"You're so weird," she muttered to him as she looked over her own menu.

"You're saying that is if you didn't know me before this evening," he retorted.

Penny sighed.

She jiggled her foot until her shoe fell off.

He stared at his menu and ignored her.

"Tell me about your grandmother," she implored quietly, surprising herself. She hadn't planned on bringing this up at all. He still seemed skittish about the entire subject. To his credit, when he glanced up he only looked slightly alarmed. Then, his face settled into a comfortable expression that Penny couldn't remember ever having seen before. He seemed to be thinking deeply about something. Finally, he opened his mouth.

"She always beat me at Scrabble," he stated slowly. Penny gave him a confused expression. "Every time I went over to Meemaw's house, we would play Scrabble." His face looked so happy, natural. "And the only rule was, no matter the score at the end of the game, Meemaw won. Always." He smiled at the memory and Penny couldn't help the grin that spread over her face in reaction.

"That's adorable," she noted without thinking. Sheldon gave her an uncomfortable look and glanced down at his menu again. She watched him for a moment. "Sheldon?"

"I have no idea how to response to that," he informed her as he took at drink from his water glass.

She stretched her foot out, feeling around for her shoe. "What do your instincts tell you to do?" she asked.

"I have no instincts," he responds instantly.

She smiled at him. "Of course you do," she told him. "You've just spent your whole life suppressing them. Or ignoring them." She stretched further, her toe pointed. "So now, you don't even recognize them when they hit you over the head."

Sheldon seemed to think this over for a moment before his eyes widened. Penny's foot had made contact with his calf. She pulled away quickly, a look of guilt on her face. "I lost my shoe," she explained. He nodded his head in understanding and stuck his head under the table to find it. A moment later, Penny felt the shoe being pushed under her bare foot. He resurfaced.

"Those shoes don't seem very practical, Penny."

"But they're so cute," she defended, slipping her foot back into the newly returned shoe. "Where were we?" she asked.

"You were admonishing my inability to be," he coughed, "a stud muffin."

Penny threw her head back and laughed at this. In the moments it took her to recover, Sheldon gave her that same sarcastic sneer. "I don't doubt your ability to be a stud muffin at all," she clarified. She cleared her throat. "Mostly, I just think you've spent a lot of time ignoring your penis and now you don't understand it at all."

Sheldon's eyes narrowed. "I understand everything, Penny."

She rolled her eyes and him and sucked a piece of ice through her teeth. "I'm going to remind you of that that when the check comes later and you have no idea how to figure out the tip."

* * * * *

"This," Penny stated from behind the wheel of her car, "was a great idea."

Sheldon furrowed his brow and stared straight ahead. "There was a list of approved first date activities I came across this afternoon," he remarked. "And of these, I found one I could stomach." He paused and looked over at her.

She tried not to smile as they climbed out of her car again. "You're shooting first, though."

He turned back and studied her. "Is that so you can see which angle I play so you do better?" he asked suspiciously.

"I am offended you would even suggest that," Penny answered in an overly dramatic tone. "I call dibs on the pink ball." She skipped ahead of him.

"Yes," he called. "I was planning on fighting you for it."

* * * * *

"I disagree," he said with a pout.

"Fine. Check the math," she offered as she handed the card over.

"There is no possible way you won," he stated determinedly.

She turned to grin at him, walking backwards toward the car. "Except for that part where I did," she answered cheekily.

"I will re-check this math," Sheldon remarked.

Penny reached into her purse. "Do you need a tiny pencil?" she asked with a smirk.

They slowed as they reached her car. Penny looked at him over the top of the car for a moment before calling his name. He glanced up at her . "Do you have your permit with you?"

Sheldon huffed. "Of course I have my permit with me, Penny. What good would it do to have a permit and then not carry it?"

"You want to drive?" she asked, ignoring his tone entirely. She bounced on the balls of her feet and raised her eyebrows at him.

He stared at her blankly before giving his breathy chuckle, tossing his head back slightly. "You're joking."

But Penny was already walking around the car to hand him the keys. "Come on," she said in what she hoped was an encouraging voice. "It will be fun."

"Yes," he answered sarcastically. "What kind of date doesn't end with a three-car pile up?"

Penny looked up at him. "Take the keys, Sheldon."

Reluctantly, he pulled them from her grasp.

* * * * *

"It could have gone worse," she said as they climbed the stairs together.

"Yes, I suppose I could have hit a small child or an elderly woman," Sheldon answered in a flat tone. "I have told you Penny, I am not meant to drive."

She sighed. "You limit yourself too much, Sheldon." She turned her head and glanced up at him. Penny needed to be able to stay one step ahead of him to be at the same height as he was. "For someone who seems to think the world is here merely for his own enjoyment, it seems kind of strange."

"Do I seem like I enjoy life?" he asked.

Penny thought for a moment. "You do when you win at Halo, which means only when I don't play."

He muttered something about her constant ability to cheat at the game before coughing. "I believe," he started as they reached their landing. "That this concludes our…date."

"Unless you," Penny glanced at him through her lashes, "want to come in for coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee," he answered promptly.

"Right," Penny answered with a sigh. She smiled tightly at him.

"I will wait for my grade," he stated with a curt nod.

Penny raised her eyebrows at him. "Grade for what?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "The evening, obviously." Penny brought her hand up to cover her mouth, hiding her smile. "As this was my first foray into the dating world, I believe it would be beneficial to everyone involved if I could receive a grade for my performance."

She stared at him in horror and shock. "You're serious?"

"Of course," he answered, surprised that she would even think he would be joking. "I do very well with goal-setting."

"Sheldon," Penny whined. "I can't give you a grade on the date." He shrugged. "Besides, you can't really be put on the same grading scale as everyone else. This was your first date."

"So, there is a grading scale," Sheldon deduced, a devious look on his face.

"You can have your own scale," she suggested.

"There can't be a curve then," he pointed out. Penny narrowed her eyes at him.

"This was a good first date," she stated honestly in a quite tone. Sheldon's gave her a crooked smile.

"It was for me as well," Sheldon answered. Penny nodded. They fell into silence. "So, what happens next?" he asked after a moment.

Penny smirked up at him. "What did your website say?" she asked.

"I didn't get to read that far," Sheldon replied, shaking his head. He paused to think. "But I assume the condom comes in at some point."

Penny laughed. "The condom does not come in at some point." She bit her lower lip and screwed up her courage. "But…you could kiss me." The reaction was instantaneous. He was moving away from her, his eyes averting from her gaze. He suddenly didn't seem to be comfortable in his own skin. She let out a chuckle. "Good night, Sheldon."

His shoulders sagged slightly. "Good evening, Penny."

She closed the door behind her and landed against it, shaking her head. Flipping on the light, her eyes landed on the vase of daisies. Did he really remember everything she'd ever said? It was nerve-wracking to think so. Penny was sure some or most of what she had ever said to him wasn't that nice. Then she noticed his ugly, horrible blazer, still folded over the back of her couch. Moving forward quickly, she grasped it and set off across the hall.

She knocked twice and waited for someone to answer. It was only a moment later that the door was opening and he was standing there, tie loosened and shoes discarded. She held it up for him wordlessly. He pulled it from her grasp. Penny gave him a small smile. Just as she was turning to return to her apartment, he descended on her, pecking her on the lips with great accuracy. When he pulled away, the look on his face told her he was surprised it had just happened. She smiled again.

"A", she murmured to him before turning and walking away.

"How am I supposed to improve on that?" he asked after a moment.

******

As of right now, this is only at a 'T' rating, but I plan on moving it into the 'M' catergory. Heads up for y' all.


	2. Chapter 2

"I gotta know tonight," Penny crooned into the wooden spoon. "If you're alone tonight." She spun toward her utensil caddy and put the spoon away before reaching for a whisk. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, allowing the music to overtake her.

Penny's relationship with her father had always been a tense one. Since the age of eleven, when he had finally realized she was in fact a girl, he'd been distant. He'd instead chosen to bond with her younger brother, leaving his two daughters to bond with their mother. But Penny had always been a little bit of a tomboy, even through school. She was the girl who looked like a cheerleader, but was more comfortable riding a horse than dancing on the sidelines at a basketball game. Even so, the only time she really had with her father was on Saturdays when she would invade his old garage and help him on projects. Penny could still clearly remember the smell that garage had, unlike anything else. She would sneak out in her old paint-covered jeans and hold the flashlight while he fiddled with his car engine or hand him a pliers when he asked for it. It was the closest she ever got to him, to any man really.

As intrinsically connected to her as the smell of the building and the feel of dirt underneath her fingernails was the music that came out of his ancient stereo on those days. An endless parade of every 'hair band' of the seventies or eighties blared out of the old speakers. Penny felt a lot of her musical taste came from these days, listening to classic Aerosmith or Van Halen or even KISS. On the days that he would let her chose though, it was always the same album that she played. Def Leppard's 'Hysteria' album had been her first real understanding of sex, and still managed to be the album that put her in a great mood every single time she heard it.

"Can't stop this feeling, can't stop this fire," she continued, rocking her entire body in time with the beat now. Just as she set to ramp into the chorus, her phone rang on the kitchen counter. She paused her iPod and flipped her phone open. "Hey," she greeted her sister breathlessly.

Pause. "What are you doing?"

"Def Leppard," Penny said in way of explanation. She continued to put away her clean dishes, cradling her phone between her ear and shoulder.

"You know you have issues, right?" It was said more as a statement than a question and Penny chuckled.

"I'm aware," she answered as she opened her cupboard to stack clean mugs inside. "What's up, Cali?"

Her sister sighed. "Just bored."

"I'm so fortunate that you thought of me," Penny remarked, closing the door and making her way over to her couch.

"Brian is going through a phase where he sucks again," Cali explained in an irritated tone.

Penny flopped down on a cushion and crossed her legs under herself. "Is it his time of the month again?"

Cali chuckled. "Why did I get married?" she asked after a moment.

Penny leaned forward, straightening up the piles of stuff that were constantly inhabiting her coffee table. She started separating things into different stacks, throwing the occasional dirty shirt or sock over the couch to the haphazard pile behind her. "You fail for referencing a Tyler Perry movie."

"You want to trade lives with me?" Cali asked in a chipper tone.

"You have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into, babe." Penny lifted a handful of junk mail and found herself staring at a Butterfinger. She'd completely forgotten about it. Without thinking, she grabbed it and tore the wrapper open to take a large bite. "Plus, would you really want me raising your kids?" she mumbled through a mouthful of candy bar.

"Classy," her sister noted dryly. "What are you eating?"

"Butterfinger," Penny answered, chewing loudly.

"And do you just randomly find candy bars scattered around your apartment?" Cali asked.

"I got it from Sheldon," the younger sister responded as she swallowed and licked her lips.

"Ah," Cali replied. "I was going to ask about that. How's it going with Spock?"

"Don't call him that," Penny shot out as she sat back against the couch. "And, it isn't."

She didn't really understand it. They'd had a great first date, he'd even admitted to having had fun. But ever since, things had gone back to normal between them. Or at least what counted as normal with them. He hadn't been cold to her in any way. In fact, Penny was certain he was still letting her off the hook for things that she would normally get scolded for. She just didn't understand why they were back at a standstill. Did he really need that much prompting from her on a regular basis? Were they a couple or what? Maybe he'd decided he didn't want to be in a relationship with her and assumed she would have gotten the hint without actually telling her.

"-if you're not actually dating him, right?" her sister finished. Penny shook herself back the present.

"Huh?" she asked eloquently.

Cali chuckled again. "I said you can't be in a relationship if you're not actually dating him, right?"

"Right," Penny answered with a sigh. "I don't know what is going on, actually." She thought for a minute. "The other day, we were sitting next to each other on the couch and I touched his arm and he didn't freak out."

There was silence on the other end for a moment. "Wow, you might as well send out save the dates right now."

"He hasn't kissed me since the first date," the blonde stated honestly. "We haven't even been alone together since our first date, actually and I'm getting frustrated and tell me what to do Cali."

Her sister sighed on the other end. "First, take your daily allowance of Ritalin." Penny groaned. "Penelope, listen to me carefully." Penny paused. "You need to jump this boy."

Penny laughed abruptly. "That is not even close to an option."

"Penny, he's not made of glass." Penny shook her head, even though her sister couldn't see her. "You won't break him."

"The fact that you're saying this proves that you don't know him at all," Penny observed wryly. "He is extremely breakable and it would be entirely my fault."

Cali made a noise in the back of her throat. "He's just a guy. I don't get what the big deal is."

"He's a virgin," Penny said quietly.

Silence. "Really? I didn't know that was cool any more." Cali paused. "It's actually pretty cute."

Penny cleared her throat. "Yeah, it's adorable." She took another bite of her candy bar. "He is naïve and cute and wanted me to grade him on his ability to date."

"Aww," Cali paused again. "Actually, that is kind of strange, isn't it?"

Penny gave a pitiful laugh. "I can't even tell anymore. Tell me what to do, sis. I don't know what to do."

"Well, you can work with his over-achieving tendencies here." Penny snorted as she continued to chew. "No, really. You could like give him assignments every week. Like, week one he has to learn how to take off your bra or something." Penny choked and swallowed hard.

"I'm not giving him assignments, Calypso." She rolled her eyes and stuffed the last piece of Butterfinger into her mouth. "If I'm already at a point where I need to come up with a gimmick in order to get him to spend time with me or touch me, then it clearly isn't worth it."

Penny heard a rustling on the other end. "No, I'm on the phone right now," her sister yelled on the other end after doing a poor job of covering the mouthpiece. "Your sister-in-law."

"Hey Penny!" she heard her sister's husband Brian yell on the other end.

"Hi Brian," she answered to herself. A moment later, her sister was back, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Penny," she said in a low voice. "Why do you like this guy?"

It was a completely fair question, but the answer wasn't one she could really put into words. Ever since she'd started feeling this way, she'd been asking herself the same thing. What was it about him? Why Sheldon, of all people? She knew him well enough to know that she had a long road ahead of her, if there was even a road there at all. It was discouraging, to say the least. But then, sometimes he looked at her and Penny felt herself melting. She was sure he didn't even realize he was able to do it, would be mortified to know what he did to her. It was true, though. And it was real. And it was something Penny had never really experienced with another guy before. When she was with Sheldon, she felt like it didn't really matter what she looked like.

"Earth to Penny," her sister called loudly from the other end.

Penny shook herself from her thoughts. "Sorry, I was…just thinking." She sighed and climbed off of her couch. "He's just different, Cali. He seems to actually see me and not the hot blonde girl."

"Love your modesty, doll." Penny rolled her eyes.

"He isn't trying to get into my pants either," Penny noted.

"And that's a good thing?" her sister pressed.

"It's kind of a first for me," she answered with a shrug.

"Ugh, shut up." Her sister pulled the phone away from herself again and yelled at her daughter to let the dog back in. She was back just as quickly. "So, you're turned on because Bill Nye doesn't seem to care whether you're wearing sweat pants or an evening gown and he doesn't want to have sex with you?"

"I was really not going to phrase it that way," Penny replied.

"You don't see a problem with that?" Cali asked and then paused. "A virgin who has never had any kind of relationship in his life? It doesn't sound like a great scenario, sweetie."

Penny frowned. "So, I should talk to him?" she asked.

"Yeah," her sister agreed.

Penny bent to pick up her pile of dirty clothes and toss them in the nearby basket. "I'd like to thank you for cutting to the chase."

"Anything for you," Cali answered. "I gotta go."

Penny sighed. "Bye." She flipped her phone shut and threw it on the couch.

Talking to Sheldon.

No problem.

She picked up the basket and gathered her quarters and detergent. She knew her sister was suggesting that Sheldon was gay, she wasn't an idiot. And really, it was a perfectly logical conclusion to come to. He'd never shown a tendency in either direction, so it was plausible that when he finally came out of his shell it could be a man who awakened that side of him.

Penny opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. She heard him long before she saw him, deeply involved in a conversation with Raj about 'The Lord of the Rings'. Or at least Penny assumed that was what about. She heard the term 'uruk-hai' and sadly understood what it meant. She stood, undecided about what to do. Before she could make the decision though, they were rounding the last corner and his eyes met hers quickly and he gave her a crooked grin. Penny took a deep breath.

"Hi guys," she greeted them with a wide smile.

"Hello," Raj answered quietly, putting his head down bashfully. Sheldon rolled his eyes at the Indian man and climbed the last few steps to the landing.

"Good afternoon, Penny." He took note of what she was carrying. Penny shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "What are you doing?"

Penny furrowed her brow at him and looked down at her laundry basket. "Um, my laundry?" she pushed the basket toward him. "I'm planning on sorting colors, don't worry."

"But the time to do laundry is at 8:15 tonight, not right now. That's the time to do your laundry." He was whining at her now.

"No," she answered slowly. "_Your_ laundry time is at 8:15 tonight. _My_ time is right now." She held up her basket again. "See?"

He surveyed her with wide eyes, seemingly confused. He gave a wordless sputter and glanced back down at her laundry basket. "But…" Raj looked back and forth between the two of them. His expression was one of befuddlement.

"Raj, could you excuse us for just a minute, please?" she asked, turning a wide smile on him. He returned it gratefully and exited to 4A as quickly as his feet would carry him. Penny turned her attention back to Sheldon then. "Why do you seem like you're on the verge of throwing a tantrum?" she asked. He moved backwards, affronted.

"As I had noticed you haven't washed clothes in over a week, I figured you would be doing it today." He shifted uncomfortably. "My intention was to ask you to join me this evening." Penny exhaled and cleared her throat as she studied him. He met her eyes and his gaze was so uncertain she felt an urge to rush forward and hug him. He was trying. She smothered a grin and cleared her throat again.

"Okay," she agreed. He grinned for a moment before it turned to a scowl.

"Really?" Sheldon asked, clearly confused about how things had turned around so quickly.

"Yup," Penny replied with a nod. "That sounds like a good idea. But, you now taken away what I was going to spend the next couple of hours doing. So you have to entertain me." She grinned wickedly at him.

He blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Sheldon, do you…" She stopped, shaking her head. "I got the impression you…had fun on our date." She quirked an eyebrow at him. He adjusted the strap of his messenger bag restlessly. She stared pointedly at him.

"Yes," he answered slowly. He waited, watching her expectantly.

"Okay," Penny said. "It's just that usually after people go out and have a good time together, they do it again."

Sheldon furrowed his brow before realization dawned on his face. "You wish to repeat the process."

"Something like that," she responded with a small smile.

He thought about it for a moment before turning his eyes on her again. "Okay," he replied easily.

Penny paused. "Really?"

"Well," he moved toward her. "You just explained to me how it was my duty to entertain you for the afternoon. What would you like me to do to entertain you?" He shot her a challenging look and she smiled at him.

"Let me get my laundry put back," she said as she turned away from him. "And then you can feed me grapes while fanning me and brushing my hair." He followed her into her apartment. Penny dropped the basket and spun to face him again. Sheldon was giving her a leveling stare that was surprisingly intense and…sexy. She swallowed hard and scratched her ear absent-mindedly. The idea that he would look at her like that was throwing her for a loop. "So um, what do you want to do?" she asked.

"Are you out of grapes?" he asked with a smirk.

Penny chuckled nervously and shook her head. "I haven't been to the store in a while." They stared at each other in silence for longer than Penny felt comfortable. "I do have an idea of what we could do." Sheldon raised an eyebrow at her, but didn't speak. "There's some place I've always wanted to go since I moved out here, and I never have."

"Where's that?" he asked.

"The tar pits?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow and looked at her strangely. "You've never been to the La Brea Tar Pits?" he asked incredulously. "That's ridiculous."

"I know," Penny agreed solemnly with a shake of her head. "It's hard to believe people on the street don't spit at me, isn't it?" He rolled his eyes before pulling his bag over his head and depositing it on her couch before motioning for them to leave her apartment.

"If you'd come to this revelation last week, we could get in for free," he grumbled as they walked down the stairs. "The first Tuesday of every month is free admission day."

"I can cover the twenty bucks if you're strapped for cash," Penny responded. They were climbing down at the same speed, so she had to crane her neck back to look at him. She slowed her step so she was one behind him. She couldn't afford going to the chiropractor so often. Sheldon looked down at her blankly. "Or not?"

"I am perfectly capable of paying for our admittance, Penny." He noticed she was a step behind him and paused for her to step down next to him before he continued on. "I was merely pointing out your bad timing. I always carry my wallet."

Penny felt her mouth quirk up without even realizing she was doing it. "Do you still have the condom then?"

Sheldon froze before turning his entire body toward her in confrontation. "I know you think I'm unaware you're patronizing me because I never comment when anyone does it. But that's generally because simply put, I don't care." Penny swallowed hard. "My understanding of relationships like the one we've recently entered into is that people don't openly mock each other."

Penny's jaw dropped. She studied him with wide eyes and a pain in her chest. "You're right," she finally answered softly. "I'm sorry." He nodded curtly and continued on down the staircase. She watched him for a moment before trailing after him, anxiety gnawing a hole in her.

"Besides," he announced as they reached the lobby, "if we were to engage in coitus right now, one or both of us would like suffer from some level of rug burn that would prove painful." He gave her a sidelong glance. "And itchy."

Penny scratched her nose in a vain attempt to cover the smile she couldn't stop from taking over her mouth. "I know, actually."

Sheldon pushed the door open and held it for her to exit the building. Penny looked up at him as she passed, before turning around to face him as she walked backwards toward her car. She arched one eyebrow challengingly at him. He gave her a look of concentration, narrowed eyes and tight jaw muscles.

"Noted."

* * * * *

Penny stared at him in wonder. He quietly licked his ice cream cone with precision and a clear attention to detail. He seemed to have a definite pattern he followed that involved spinning the cone in a counter-clockwise direction before running his tongue over the top and then around the side again. Penny brought a bite of her sundae up to her lips belatedly and cleaned the spoon.

"So," she started, trying not to stare at him. "That was fun. We should make that like a regular thing."

Sheldon looked up momentarily from his cone. "The museum?"

"Yes," she answered with a nod. He frowned at her. "What?"

"I'm not, shall we say, schooled in reading human emotion," he said slowly.

"I'm aware, sweetie."

"But you didn't really seem to be enjoying yourself that much."

Penny blinked at him in surprise. "It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying myself. It was just that…." She dug into her plastic cup with vengeance. "You just…it's nothing." She smiled at him and stuck a large mouthful of melting ice cream into her mouth. He arched one eyebrow. "You don't always have to talk to me like I don't know anything is all."

Sheldon reared his head back, clearly deep in though. Belatedly, he dove forward and licked his cone before it could drip onto his hand or the table. "I wasn't aware I was doing that." Penny nodded. "I was merely attempting to teach you on a subject you yourself said you knew little of." She set her jaw, gearing up to unload on him. "I apologize if it upset you." She deflated just as quickly. He was just so unaware sometimes. It would be like yelling at a child the first time they colored on the walls of their bedroom. How are they supposed to know?

But Sheldon wasn't a little kid, he was a full grown adult. "Sheldon, can we talk for a minute?" He opened his mouth. "And if you point out we already are talking, I will leave you here." His mouth snapped shut. Penny took a deep breath. "I was just kind of wondering what your thoughts were on this whole….us thing." She looked at him expectantly.

"As in the relationship we are tentatively entering into?" he asked as he bit into his waffle cone.

"Yes," she responded, grateful she didn't have to explain further.

Well," he answered with a slight frown. "I do enjoy your company, especially compared to spending time with the likes of Wolowitz." Penny rolled her eyes. He continued to eat in silence. Penny watched him, waiting for him to continue. When she realized he wasn't going to, so spoke up.

"And?"

He looked up at her in confusion. She raised one eyebrow. "Penny, this should be painfully aware by now. Between the two of us, you are the one with the relationship experience."

"Yes," she said with a nod.

"Everything I know about relationships I learned from my parents or from watching your truncated go of it with Leonard last fall." Penny grimaced. Did everyone really have to mention it so often? "We don't yell at each other or drive each other to drink to excess," he noted as he counted on his fingers. "So we are not like my mother and father." He paused to finish his ice cream cone. "Furthermore, with the exception of your occasional copulation, your interpersonal friendship with Leonard didn't transform into something different that I can see." She felt her jaw drop. "Your affiliation with him appeared to be based almost completely on sexual gratification, which as you've pointed out, we are not currently indulging in." Penny made a sort of strangled noise in the back of her throat. "If you're choking, I know CPR."

Maybe he was putting her on, and everything had been an act. Because he managed to understand everything, somehow. He knew what she was thinking without ever having talked about it. But something was different. Sheldon definitely knew how to be long winded, she had seen it first hand at the museum. Where most people used sixteen words, he would use two hundred and fifty- nine. However, when it came to her, when he had to talk to her about whatever they were doing, he was always succinct. She could tell he was making a conscious effort to be pithy. Penny took it as a sign of his uncertainty about the entire thing.

"I'm fine," she croaked out after a moment. She took a drink from her water glass. "You're right," she admitted after she swallowed. "Leonard and I didn't really have a true relationship. We were friends who occasionally went out to dinner and then had sex." She grimaced to herself and glanced up to see him watching her with a closed off expression. "But I want…." She bit her lip nervously. "I want something real here." Sheldon furrowed his brow. "I think this could be….something real." Penny twisted her hands in her lap. She watched him swallow and open his mouth to speak. "It's just that, right now it feels like I say 'let's do this' and you do it. I don't want this to be like I'm bullying you into something you don't want." He snapped his mouth shut again, thinking.

"I don't ever do anything I don't want to do," he responded heavily after a moment of silence. Penny nodded.

"Okay," she replied quietly with a small flicker of a smile.

It was good enough for right now.

"Thank you for buying me ice cream," she said as she took the last spoonful of hot fudge out of the bottom of her container. "And the shirt."

"Yes, this was a rather successful second attempt for me," he noted with a nod of his head. Penny grinned at him. "But those children needed more attentive parents."

"Sheldon, you know that public places have kids. And sometimes you will have to interact with them."

"I know," he admitted. "But they didn't have to be so mean to me."

* * * * *


	3. Chapter 3

"So, how's it going with your boy toy?"

Penny glanced up from the television screen, completely dropping her harmony line on 'Wii Music' and stared at Howard. Her eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You heard me," Howard replied and raised an eyebrow at her before turning his attention back to his bagpipe rendition of 'Material Girl'. He finished with a flourish and looked at her. "So, good then?"

Penny groaned. "Oh God, are you guys making fun of him behind his back?"

"No," Howard answered with a shake of his head. "We're pretty much making fun of him right to his face."

"Why?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"It's not something I can clearly put into words," he said as he re-stared the jam. "Now pay attention with that ukulele." Howard squinted his eyes at the television. She watched him as she shook her own controller.

"Is it because you're all jealous?" she asked after a minute of silence between them.

"Of Sheldon?" Howard asked incredulously. "No."

"Why not?" Penny asked, feeling her ire rise in Sheldon's defense. "He's the only one of you guys who seems to have a girl." They finished and she put down her remote and turned on the sofa toward Wolowitz.

"That is technically true," he replied with a curt nod. "But if I were a betting man I would say he isn't currently getting any more privileges with you than I am." He gave her a shrug before shooting her a look that dared her to correct him. "So he's basically just taken Leonard place as the one of us who has to listen to your stories about life at the Cheesecake Factory." He paused. "Is that what we should be jealous of?"

"You don't know we haven't done anything," Penny shot back. Howard chuckled at her.

"Of course we do," he answered.

"Maybe we have just decided to be discreet about it," she continued.

"Sure," he said her a sarcastic nod.

"Howard," she said in a low tone.

His eyes showed fear for a instant before clearing up again. "Look Penny, let me explain men to you for a minute."

Penny sighed and laid her head back against the couch cushion. "Oh, good."

"Sex changes people, Penny. Men especially. Now, I understand that you're trying to make Sheldon over into a human and we all really appreciate it. We do." He paused. "But we would definitely know if Sheldon had lost it and he hasn't yet. Also, I would guess that when you finally come to your senses and dump him like a sack of hot garbage, he will still have…it. " Howard glanced over at her with another shrug. "But he at least could hypothetically have the option in the future, so for that I guess we are hypothetically jealous, yeah."

She frowned at him. There were so many reasons to rail on him for what he just said, Penny didn't know where to start. "Could you not make it sound like I'm taking him on as a charity case?" Howard cocked his head to the side. "I'm serious, I know you guys are having your fun at our expense and we are going to have to live with some of that. But Sheldon and I are a couple now."

Howard giggled. "How can you say that with a straight face?"

"What the hell, Howard?" she exploded. He backed away from her slightly. "What is your deal? I thought we were friends here. You've been so nice to me lately, why can't you just be happy for us?" He looked slightly chagrined. "You're my friend and you're Sheldon's friend, so-"

"-and I'm Leonard's friend," he cut in.

Penny stopped dead. "You're…what?" He looked uncertain. "Is this about Leonard?"

"No," Howard answered unconvincingly. Penny narrowed her eyes at him again. "Look, I mean he won't say anything about it. He tries not to acknowledge anything about…that."

"Really?" Penny asked quietly.

"If your girlfriend dumped you for your socially retarded roommate, would you want to discuss it a lot?" he replied.

"That's not what happened," she stated defensively. "Breaking up with Leonard had nothing to do with Sheldon. It was just…." She trailed off.

"Bad timing?" Howard suggested. Penny nodded miserably. "Penny, we are friends. Or at least the kind of friends where I would still hurt someone I love for the chance to see you naked." Penny rolled her eyes at him in disgust. "But anyone who knows you and Sheldon knows this thing isn't going to work out." She swallowed over a dry lump in her throat. "It's like watching a car crash in slow motion. And when you crush him like a bug the way you did to Leonard, then none of us can be friends." He frowned at this.

Penny stared at the coffee table. Howard was actually worried about her relationship with Sheldon ruining her relationship with him. It was sweet, really. "I really like him, Howard."

"To choose to be spending time with him, you'd pretty much have to," he replied with a grin. Then he furrowed his brow as he thought. "Although, I spend time with him and don't really like him."

Penny snorted at him before picking up her controller and choosing a new song.

"Whatever. Sure you do."

* * * * *

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She muted her television and stood slowly.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She walked over to the door and put her hand on the knob.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She allowed herself two seconds to breathe out before opening the door for him. He stood on the other side, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. "Oh, hey Sheldon." She greeted with an overly sweet smile. "I didn't know it was you.." He gave her a sarcastic smirk before walking past her into the apartment. It was then that Penny noticed the bag he grasped in his hand. "What's in the bag?"

He looked down at it distractedly before glancing back up at her. "I am given to understand that one does not need to actually go out to have a date, correct?"

"Correct," Penny agreed with a nod and a smile.

"In that case, it's dinner," he answered as he set the bag on the coffee table. "Would it be ridiculous of me to even look for clean dinner plates to eat on?"

"I just did the dishes yesterday," Penny replied with a pout. "I do sometimes clean, you know."

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned toward her. "What did I find under your couch last week?"

"A pop tart," she mumbled.

"I rest my case," he said as he pulled two plates out of her cupboard and brought them back to the living room. The sight of it tickled Penny in a way she couldn't clearly put into words. The sight of him bringing her a fork to eat her dinner was wonderfully well-adjusted and….._domestic_. "I also took the liberty of choosing a movie from my collection that I thought we could watch." He looked over at her anxiously.

"You're not going to try to sell me on 'The Matrix' again, are you?" Penny groaned.

Sheldon fixed her with a glare and she shut her mouth with a snap. She had to learn to better curb some of those impulses to fight with him. "No," he said pointedly. "I've learned that was fighting a losing battle. We'll assume you're in the wrong on the subject and move on." He cleared his throat. "I was referring to the seminal classic, 'Batman'.

"The Michael Keaton one?" she asked with a furrowed brow. "I've seen that one."

"No," he answered patiently as he pulled cartons of food out of the bag and started filling plates. "This is the 1966 film starring Adam West."

"From 'Family guy," Penny noted with a nod. Sheldon gave her a withering look, but didn't say anything.

"Yes, well…" He handed her a plate and chopsticks. "That's technically correct. Shall we start now?"

"Yes," she replied as she tucked a leg under herself and dug into her food. "So you planned all of this?"

Sheldon furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment. "There was little planning involved. It's Thai night and Leonard is working late." Penny nodded at him before leaning over and giving him a peck on the cheek. His mouth quirked up on one side before he started the movie. They watched in companionable silence as they ate.

"This is so cheesy," Penny remarked as she placed her empty plate back on the coffee table. "Is this supposed to be so tongue-in-cheek?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"He's hanging in mid-air from a helicopter while fighting a shark," Penny continued as she pointed at the screen. She readjusted herself on the couch, falling against Sheldon's side. He stiffened next to her and Penny glanced up at him. His jaw was tight as he met her eye. She stared at him in silence for several moments before leaning away from him. "Sorry," she mumbled as she threw herself toward the opposite end of her couch. She felt his eyes on her, but resolutely keep watching the movie.

"You're upset," he noted after a moment. She sighed and shook her head, still not looking at him.

"No, I'm not." She pulled a pillow into her lap and busied herself with tracing the stitching detail on it distractedly. "I just…sometimes forget that we aren't really a regular couple."

"In what way?" Sheldon asked, his voice going up an octave.

"Never mind," Penny sighed and focused her attention on the television. He continued to watch her before finally pausing the movie. She turned to face Sheldon, her face expressionless.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked her.

"It makes me sound like a stupid…_girl_," Penny responded. Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I just wish that….occasionally you wanted to…touch me."

Sheldon frowned at her. "You wish to cuddle with me?"

Penny smiled in spite of herself before rubbing a hand down her face. "No, I…well, yes. I mean, it isn't that I think we need to cuddle. But you still flinch when I touch you sometimes, Sheldon." She shrugged her shoulders before turning her attention back to the frozen image on the screen. Sheldon watched her for a moment longer before scooting himself closer to her and gingerly placing his arm around her shoulders. Penny turned her head to stare at him in befuddlement. He gave her another tight manic smile. "You look super uncomfortable. And creepy. Which makes me super uncomfortable."

Sheldon withdrew his arm and dropped it to his side. "This is what is expected of me."

Penny scratched the back of her neck tiredly. "There aren't…this isn't like…" She trailed off before taking a deep breath. "You're the one who said you never do what you don't want to do. There are no expectations here, Sheldon."

Sheldon gave her a look that said he thought she was crazy. "Except you just said that you expected me to touch you."

"No, Sheldon." Penny rose from her seat and turned to face him. "I said I wanted you to _want _to touch me every _great_ once in a while."

"I'm unfamiliar with the social conventions that usually go along with this sort of thing, so please explain this to me." Sheldon folded his hands in his lap. "Why did you want to cuddle with me?"

"I'm forgetting more as every seconds passes," Penny shot back with a pointed expression. Sheldon swallowed and Penny felt herself deflate and collapsed onto the coffee table, her knees brushing his. "I don't know, Sheldon. "You…smell nice. And you have good-sized hands." Her mouth quirked at him. "I think we might fight together well." Sheldon raised his eyebrows comically and Penny exhaled a chuckle. "You are spending too much time with Wolowitz, aren't you?"

"I don't follow," he answered, seemingly confused.

"Good," she intoned.

"Penny," Sheldon stated, scooting forward in the couch toward her. "I am considered to have a one-of-a-kind intellect."

"Yes, you've told me." She smirked at him.

"But I find myself at a loss whenever I am near you." He seemed to be physically struggling with his words. "I am second guessing myself constantly."

"Do I make you nervous?" she asked as she leaned toward him, her head bowed to take in his expression.

"I like and trust you more than any female I've ever been in contact with that I'm not related to," he answered concisely before pausing. "More than some I'm related to," he added.

"You like me?" Penny reiterated slowly. Sheldon looked up sharply.

"Of course. I just said that." He shook his head. "Please pay attention, Penny."

She rolled her eyes. "So, you like me. But only in the kind of way that no one has to know about it? Including me?" she asked. "Are you worried about what people think or something."

He gave her a pointed look. "Have I ever seemed worried about what other people think of me?"

"No," Penny answered immediately with a shake of her head.

"Besides," he continued, "Wolowitz and Koothropali are paying enough attention to this that it would be pointless for me to try and act like there was nothing going on."

"Does it bother you? Them talking about us?"

He frowned. "Sometimes the way they talk about you bothers me."

"Yeah, well Wolowitz still has some of that male pig…ness in his blood," Penny stated flatly. "And I think he's a bad influence on Raj sometimes." Sheldon nodded to himself. "Sheldon, why do you like me?"

He looked at her perplexedly. "I don't understand the question."

Penny stifled a chuckle. "I mean there have to be reasons you enjoy spending time with me, right? What are they?"

He stared at her blankly for a moment. Penny waved a hand in front of his face. "I have to go to my apartment." He rose quickly and left, shutting the door behind himself. Penny stared at the door in shock before throwing herself back onto the couch and playing the movie. It honestly was important to find out why he seemed to seek out her time and attention. They had been slowly moving toward this for a while now, and no one had been more surprised than Penny when she'd realized that Sheldon was the one of those guys she felt closest too. But it had happened, and now for all intents and purposes they were a couple.

Well, kind of in the way ten year-olds were couples.

And it would be just like Sheldon to flake on her and leave when confronted with something he was unprepared for. Penny rolled her eyes and the door again. He wasn't going to get this movie back, that was for sure. If this was it and Sheldon couldn't give her anything more, then she would have to end it. There was no point in continuing. The guys would undoubtedly tease them both mercilessly, but in the long run it would be better than dating him for a long time and then breaking up and trying to retain everyone's friendship. Howard had been right to a point. Penny finished the movie by herself, giggling out loud by the end. Just as she was standing to clear the plates, there was a knock at the door. Ignoring his routine, Penny opened the door. Sheldon looked slightly annoyed for a moment, but let it go.

"What is it, Sheldon?"

"I've compiled a list for you," he answered. He held up a black and white composition notebook by way of explanation."

"A list of what?" Penny asked as she stepped back to allow him back into the apartment.

"You wanted to know why I like you," he replied as he opened the notebook and flipped past a few pages. "I apologize for the disorganization, but I felt as if I was on a deadline." He handed her the notebook. Penny took it from his grasp with an open mouth. She glanced down at the page, written in Sheldon's scribble.

'Good at Halo'. Penny rolled her eyes. Of course that was the most important thing to him.

'Always gets my order correct'. This was not what she was hoping for.

'Ability to be evil'. She chuckled at that one before glancing up at him. He seemed content with this list. "Sheldon, this is very nice of you. But these aren't really reasons to be more than friends." She glanced back down at the sheet and noticed he'd scribbled something out at the bottom. Penny glanced at him before bringing the notebook up to her face to read it.

'Hair has a pleasant scent'. Penny smiled and looked back up at Sheldon. "Why did you cross that last one off?" she asked.

"It didn't seem pertinent," he responded instantly, looking at the notebook in her hand wistfully.

"It's my favorite one," Penny stated as she handed the notebook back to him. He gave her a look that said he thought she was crazy. She rushed forward and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him on the mouth. He responded right away, allowing his hands to rest on her hips and pulling her forward ever so slightly. Penny was out of breath when they finally broke apart. "That…that was good," she noted with a dazed smile. He gave her a lopsided grin.

"Can we finish the movie now?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

Penny agreed and sat down on the couch and skipped the movie back to where he'd left. Sheldon stood in front of her, seemingly undecided. "What's going on?" she asked. He finally sat down next to her and allowed his arm to snake around her shoulders. Penny looked sideways at him before burrowing her head against his chest.

His heartbeat was fast underneath her, but after a moment his breathing slowed. "_Oh_," he said softly.

"Not so bad?" Penny asked.

"Not so bad," he agreed.

* * * * *

"I want to challenge," Sheldon stated with a raised hand.

"You want to challenge your devastating and embarrassing loss to a little girl?" Penny asked with an overly sweet smile. "Is that what you want to challenge?" She shrugged her shoulders as she wrapped her controller up and put it away next to his.

"You think you're funny?" he asked.

"I know I'm funny," Penny corrected with a grin.

Sheldon looked at his watch. "It is much later than I thought."

"Past your bedtime, sweetie?" He rolled his eyes before fidgetting slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Well," he started. "This was technically our third date, correct?"

"Yes?" Penny answered.

He paused. "Raj informed me of what a third date means."

Penny choked and coughed. Then she laughed. Sheldon looked frustrated. "Sorry," she chuckled, out of breath. "Sorry, but you…" She cleared her throat. "Sweetie, we had to practically have a therapy session to get you to put your hand on my shoulder tonight."

He nodded curtly.

"You are not ready for where you'd have to put your hand if we had sex, Sheldon." She touched his arm. "But, if…." She shook her head to herself.

"If?" he repeated warily.

"You could…sleep here though," she said out loud, realizing how stupid it actually sounded. There was less than no chance he would agree to sleep in a bed that wasn't his. She really didn't even know why she thought it and definitely didn't know what had possessed her to say it.

"I don't have any pajamas," he said slowly after a moment.

"Your dresser is like thirty feet away," Penny replied quickly before forcing her mouth shut.

He looked down at his shoes. "Where would I sleep?"

"In the bed?" Penny responded.

"Where would you sleep?"

"In the bed?" she repeated slowly. She watched the wheels in his head turning. She hoped she hadn't cracked his brain open.

"I need to go home," he said after a minute of silence.

"Okay," Penny answered softly with a nod of her head. Sheldon moved forward and gave her a peck on the mouth. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and slid her tongue against his lips. Clearly startled, he froze for a moment before allowing his mouth to open ever so slightly. Penny giggled into his mouth before pulling away. She placed her palms against his chest. "Okay," she repeated.

Sheldon extracted himself and left without another word. Penny sighed and slouched her way into the bedroom. Even though she'd known it had been out of the question that he would stay, she'd been holding out some stupid hope. She slipped on a tank top and pajama pants before stepping into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Things really were going very well. If someone had told her two months ago that she would be starting to get impatient about getting to have sex with Sheldon, she would have laughed until she choked on her own saliva. But somehow, that was exactly what was happening.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Penny."

She spit out her mouth wash and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth before rushing toward the door. She opened it, shocked to see him standing on the other side.

In his pajamas.

Carrying a pillow.

Penny felt her heart melt in her chest before stepping back to allow him inside.

"I can't guarantee I will be able to make it the entire night," Sheldon noted. "But the one time I slept in your bed before, I found it to be quite comfortable. I brought my own pillow this time," he continued as he gestured to the pillow in his hand. Penny remained silent, doubtful that this was really happening. He looked at her expectantly.

"I can see that," she finally answered when she could find her voice. She inclined her head toward the bedroom and they both walked toward it. "Do you have a side of the bed?" Penny asked as they reached the doorway.

"I sleep in a twin size bed," Sheldon replied. Penny nodded and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling at him. He was likely to think there was something seriously wrong with her for being too happy. He looked down at her bed in disgust. The covers were thrown back haphazardly, hanging half off the mattress. The sheets were twisted and wrinkled. One of her pillows was on the floor. "Good Lord," he intoned tiredly. "Don't you ever make your bed?"

Penny frowned down at the bed. "What's the point if I'm just going to sleep in it again?" She could practically hear him roll his eyes at her.

"I feel the need to question when the last time you changed your sheets was," Sheldon stated. He was clearly trying to be polite.

Penny tried to think back, but couldn't remember. "Um?"

He shook his head. "Where are your spare sheets?" She pulled her closet door open. Inside, still in the plastic were a set of pink sheets her parents had sent her last fall. They had a high thread count and were supposedly the greatest sheets in the world, but she'd never used them yet.

"You're in luck," she informed him before tossing him the bag. His eyes grew large before he opened the bag to touch them. Penny watched as Sheldon methodically went about stripping her bed of its sheets and placing them neatly in the hamper in the corner. Then he started making the bed with the new sheets, smoothing the fabric down as he went. "Wow."

"Yes," he intoned flatly. "If you occasionally do this, you will have this level of skill as well." She stuck her tongue out at him as he pulled the comforter back on and flattened it out perfectly.

"So why make the bed completely when we're going to get into it right away?" Penny asked as she flipped off the light, leaving them in the dim glow of her night light.

"Sheets feel best when they're smooth and cool," he stated as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

"Freak," Penny said softly as she folded the sheet back and climbed in.

"Slob," Sheldon shot back quickly and he followed suit before staring at the bed uncertainly.

"It won't bite, Shelly." He glared at her.

"Don't call me that," he stated acerbically as he slid in next to her. She watched him adjust himself for a moment before stretching.

"This does feel nice," Penny admitted through a yawn. "You were right."

"If we're going to start keeping track of how often I'm right, you're going to need to acquire better math skills." He laid back against his pillow and folded his hands across his chest. Penny narrowed her eyes and he glanced at her. "I apologize. That was something I should have thought but not said, correct?" He fidgeted. "These are nice sheets."

"I got them from my parents," Penny responded as she turned onto her side to face him.

"They chose well," he stated.

"Yeah, I'll tell them you approve."

"I think they may not appreciate the comments of the man who is in your bed," Sheldon shot back dryly.

Penny rose up onto her elbow and looked at him. "You're really here?" she asked.

"I believe so," he answered with a slight frown.

"And you're okay?" she persisted quietly.

He rolled over to face her. "So far so good." Penny smiled at him and flopped back down, dropping her arm onto the mattress between their pillows. She felt her eyes drift closed. She felt his hand land gently on top of hers and smiled to herself again.

"Good night, Sheldon."

"Good night, Penny."


	4. Chapter 4

Penny opened one eye before closing it quickly against the sunlight streaming into her room. She burrowed her head under her pillow and tried to find sleep again. After several minutes of failure, she gave up and sat up in bed. Her eyes landed on him immediately. He was on his back in his normal vampire pose. Without allowing herself to think about it longer, she rose up and threw one leg over his torso. She leaned over him so her face was close to his. Penny could tell the exact moment he fully realized what was going on. His eyes fluttered open and locked on hers instantly.

"Hello," Sheldon greeted uncertainly.

"Hi," she answered with a smile. She closed the distance between them and kissed him chastely. When Penny pulled away, Sheldon looked at her with sleepy eyes.

"Are you going to get off of me now?" he asked with more calmness than Penny would have thought possible in their current situation.

She hummed for a moment before leaning in closely to him again, her hair falling into his face. "I'm thinking about it." She kissed him again, letting her lips linger on his. He responded this time. Penny felt his fingertips gently touch her knees.

"_Penny_," he whispered.

When she pulled away, Sheldon grimaced slightly. "Your breath is atrocious," he noted.

"Whereas yours is completely delightful." Penny rolled her eyes as she climbed off of him. She rolled onto her side and watched as he rose from her bed, jamming the heel of his hand into his eyes and rubbing them.

"I need to get ready for paintball," he stated. "I have no desire for anyone to see me leaving your apartment this early in the morning in my pajamas."

"I have told you before," Penny grinned, "that your pajamas are very cute." Sheldon turned to glare at her. "I…don't you think it might be a good thing for them to see you leaving here though?"

He blinked at her slowly. "You're the one who said we needed to be sensitive to Leonard," he pointed out with arched brows. "In what way would this help that endeavor?"

Penny rose to her knees on the bed. "They all think this is a joke," she said with a shrug.

Sheldon looked at her quizzically. "I don't see what could be so humorous about it, unless of course we are talking about the gaming skills you exhibited last night." He gave her a small smile that said he was very pleased with himself. Penny quickly reached behind her to grasp his pillow and threw it at him. He caught it with a eyebrow wiggle and dropped it back onto the bed. "You are of course welcome to join us for paintball."

Penny smiled at him before allowing herself to watch him for a moment. Sheldon Cooper was standing in her bedroom at seven in the morning, and it wasn't weird. At all. She shook her head slowly at the absurdity of the situation she was in. "I think I'm too good," she said with false bravado. "I wouldn't want to make you all cry like little girls."

"Wolowitz ends up crying like a little girl most weeks as it is," Sheldon answered with a shrug. Penny threw her head back, laughing loudly. When she looked up at him, he appeared startled. He blinked his wide eyes at her in curiosity and Penny found herself scrambling toward him. When she reached the edge of the mattress, she sprang off of the end and threw herself at him. He caught her in the air, wrapping his arms securely around her with a surprised noise in the back of his throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly. He responded, tightening his grip on her. They broke apart as Penny slowly slid down his front to touch the ground again "I am sorry. You have got to brush your teeth."

Penny shook her head with a chuckle. As she sauntered past him and out of the bedroom, she reached behind her to give him a light smack on the butt. "Have fun this morning," she told him.

The noise he made caused her to smile.

* * * * *

Penny punched the 'Print' button on the computer screen and waited for the receipt to print. She gave a rye grin to the 'Tip' line, knowing full well that it would remain blank. The table had been a problem from the first moment. The two year-old had been dumping chocolate milk and crushed up crackers on the floor for the last thirty minutes. Penny was sure it was going to be fun to try and clean up in the middle of the lunch hour. Her phone vibrated in her apron pocket. She pulled it out and flipped it open.

_I was somehow outvoted on lunch choice. We are on out way in. Please keep out table clear._

Penny grinned at the screen before allowing her fingers to fly across the tiny keyboard.

_Outvoted? You must not be as powerful as you thought. ;)_

He responded immediately, as if he'd been waiting for her to bait him.

_Your bitterness toward my superior gaming skills of last night is unbecoming._

She choked out a chuckle before texting back a quick promise that she'd hold their table. She put her phone away and stepped back into the dining room, making her way over to the Table From Hell. "Here you go guys, I'll take it here at the table whenever you're ready." Penny glanced up to see four familiar faces filtering into the seating area. She grinned at Sheldon, who gave her a little wave. She strode over to their table as the hostess wandered away. "Wow, that was fast." Sheldon gave her a look that almost seemed contrite. "How was paintball?" She casually rested her hand on the back of Sheldon's chair and glanced around at the four guys.

"We won," Leonard announced cheerily.

"Yes," Sheldon cut in. "We managed to make that group of twenty year-old women celebrating a bachelorette party look pretty foolish."

"Wow," Penny grimaced. "Worst bachelorette party ever?" She looked around the table at each of them. Leonard was studying his menu so intensely Penny was concerned someone had told him there would be a quiz later. Raj and Howard were huddled together, tittering about something. They stopped and both looked up at her at the same time. "What?" she asked with a frozen grin.

Raj shrugged. "Nothing," he answered lightly. "Just wondering why you aren't really giving your boyfriend any sweet sweet loving right now." Howard gave her a pointed look.

Penny's eyes narrowed and her jaw slackened. "Excuse me?" She watched as Raj's eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut. His eyes moved down to his menu, where Penny assumed they would be staying for a while. "Did you guys really come in here to see us make out?"

"I didn't," Leonard piped up, raising his hand in the air while keeping his eyes trained on his menu.

"Penny, Penny, Penny." Howard was shaking his head in a patronizing manner. "We didn't come in here to see you make out with Sheldon. I don't think anyone should ever have to see that." Raj was nodding silently next to him. "We came in here to see the awkwardness that you two leave in your wake." He smiled tightly and shrugged.

"You're always charming, Howard," Penny forced out sarcastically with a tightened jaw.

"Hey, didn't you used to kiss Leonard when we came in here? I mean…when you were dating him?" Howard looked around the table for support, but no one would meet his eye now.

"Shut up, Howard." Leonard's voice was cold, hard.

"Is everyone having their usual?" Penny asked after a long moment of strained silence. She got four silent nods in response. Sheldon looked up at her with an expression she couldn't place. She let her hand touch his shoulder briefly before moving to the kitchen to put their order in. As she filled glasses, Penny worked on willing her anger away. She knew Howard was unsure about how to be addressing the entire thing. He was better friends with Leonard than Sheldon, and clearly felt drawn to side with him on this whole thing.

But was there a whole thing here? Leonard had been keeping his distance, that was sure. But he hadn't been sarcastic or mean spirited toward either she or Sheldon. Howard was acting like an ass. It hadn't been that long ago that Penny had felt she was growing closer to the quirky little man. Now she had no idea where she stood with any of her boys. Sadly, that included Sheldon.

They'd been sharing a bed for the better part of a week. Everything was going very smoothly, albeit slowly. He would occasionally initiate intimacy, but generally left it up to her. He had a keen sense of when she needed to be touched and when it was best to stay on his side of the mattress. But Penny still didn't feel that he was really _there_. She was starting to feel a panic set in. Ten times a day she had to stop and prepare herself for the chance, no fact that Sheldon was going to realize what he was doing and ignore her entirely.

She picked up their tray of drinks and carried it back to their table. They were all still and eerily quiet. "Penny," Sheldon said in a low tone. "Did you make the bed this morning after I left?"

Howard choked on his Sprite and Raj clapped him on the back harder than he needed to. Penny's lip quirked and she bit it quickly. "No," she replied airily. She glanced down at him and he huffed a little before taking a sip of his lemonade. She couldn't help the grin the slid onto her face. She leaned down quickly and planted a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head to look at her, bewilderment in his eyes. Penny just chuckled. "Your order is in, guys. It will be out in a few minutes." She touched the back of Sheldon's neck lightly before sauntering away.

Behind her, Penny could hear murmuring at the table.

* * * * *

She wearily climbed the stairs four hours later, leaning heavily on the rail as she did. She was sure there had never been a time in her life when she'd felt so tired. When she reached her landing, she paused outside the door to 4A.

Penny really hadn't been spending much time in their apartment as of late. It saddened her to think of all the lo mein and Wii Bowling that was commencing without her on a weekly basis, but knew overall it was probably for the best that she was staying away. When Sheldon had come over two nights ago, still flushed from game play, Penny had tried to hide her disappointment at not having been there.

It would stop now.

Resolutely, Penny turned the knob on the door and let herself in quietly. Leonard was seated in the large chair, a text book open in his lap. He glanced up and his face lost expression.

"Hi," she greeted softly as she moved to the couch.

"Hey," he replied with a confused squint. He closed the book slowly and placed it on the coffee table in front of him as Penny slid onto Sheldon's cushion. Leonard raised his eyebrows at this, but said nothing.

"So…." she started with a deep breath. "Where is everybody?"

"At the comic book store," Leonard answered with a generic arm movement.

"You didn't want to go?" Penny asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Wasn't really feeling like it," he supplied. Penny nodded silently. "Can I talk to you?" His tone was unsure. He fidgeted for a moment before running a hand through his hair. Penny leaned onto her elbows. "I…I don't know how to ask this. And it's absolutely none of my business." She could feel something heavy settle in the pit of her stomach. "I need to…" He took a deep breath. "Are you sleeping with Sheldon?"

"You're right," Penny sighed. "It is none of your business."

"I know," Leonard answered with embarrassment.

Penny watched him awkwardly push his glasses up the bridge of his nose and clasp his hands in his lap. She sighed again. "Sheldon and I have been sleeping together for almost a week." Leonard put his head in his hands and moaned. "Leonard?" she said. He glanced up at her blankly. "We have been sleeping together. As in sleeping." The small man exhaled loudly, clearly relieved. Penny clenched her teeth. "Leonard, we have been making an effort to avoid being around so much because of you. But…at some point, you…have to be okay with this." She tucked a strand of hair behind her hair nervously. "So, are you ever going to be okay with this?"

He wouldn't look at her, pointedly staring at his discarded book on the coffee table instead. Then he sighed. "I thought I would be," he said, shaking his head. "When it was just you, being crazy and irrational, I was fine with the idea. I never thought in a million years he would actually allow himself to be pulled into a relationship, least of all with you."

Penny felt her jaw tighten. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Well," Leonard started as he leaned back to look at her with a raised eyebrow. "There are any number of things about you that he…doesn't really appreciate."

She narrowed her eyes to slits. "And there are plenty of things about him that drive me up a wall."

"And so you're together because……?"

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was not a conversation she wanted to have. Not one she was ready to have with Sheldon, let alone her ex. "You know, when we were together there were things about me that you didn't like." She was grasping at straws now, and probably not the ones she should be grasping at. Continuing to dredge up her past relationship with Leonard was the last thing any of them really needed and she should have known better.

"I was annoyed by a couple of your habits," he defended with wide eyes. "And that was a completely different situation than what you and Sheldon are doing."

"What are we doing?" she asked.

"My guess was social experiment," Leonard explained as he rose and walked over to the fridge. "Howard thinks it's an elaborate prank and Raj thinks you're being blackmailed." He opened the fridge and pulled out a Sprite. "Which one of us is right?"

Penny sighed in disgust. "Why are you guys being such jerks? None of you are right." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Why is it so hard to believe that I actually like him for him?"

"Nobody likes Sheldon for Sheldon," Leonard pointed out as he slid back down to the chair. "Including Sheldon."

There was a painful twist in her gut. "I…can we drop the subject now?"

The diminutive man opened his mouth for a moment, planning to say something before letting his mouth snap shut again. "Yeah," he finally agreed.

"I think…" Penny breathed out. "…Monopoly."

Leonard squinted at her before raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah, you're on."

* * * * *

"-and I'm going to put hotels on all three of them," Leonard announced with barely concealed glee. He leaned forward and started placing small plastic buildings on the board.

"You son of a bitch," Penny muttered under her breath. He grinned widely at her before they both looked up at the sound of keys in the door.

"-established that in 'Amazing Spiderman' number sixteen it is Daredevil that he teamed up with….." Sheldon trailed off as he took in the scene before them. "Hello," he said hesitantly.

"Hi," Penny answered with a smile. "What did you guys get?" she asked, turning her eyes to each of them in turn.

"I got a new 'Flash' belt buckle," Howard stated excitedly as he held up a small plastic bag.

"I beat Sheldon to 'Detective Comics' number thirty-eight," Raj announced happily before passing the bagged comic book gently. "The first ever appearance of Robin, in mint condition."

"Seriously," Penny asked in awe as she ran her fingertips over the cover. She glanced up unsurely at Sheldon, but the tall physicist wouldn't meet her eye. "That's impressive, Raj."

"I'm more excited about beating Sheldon than the actual comic book," he answered with a shrug.

Sheldon landed unceremoniously on the couch next to her and Penny tried not to give him a look of pity as she reached up to rub his back comfortingly. He turned his head toward her and pouted. "Aw," Penny chuckled at him before laying her head against his shoulder. "Poor baby."

"Oh God," Howard grumbled. "Sheldon is always going to get special treatment now, isn't he?"

"Howard," Penny answered with a withering glance. He shrunk under her stare. "You know very well that Sheldon is a much bigger baby than the rest of you." Wolowitz chuckled as Penny looked over at Sheldon. He was giving her a glare out of the corner of his eye. She reached over and kissed him on the cheek and his mouth quirked up on the side nearest her.

"Wow," Raj noted slightly breathlessly. "You guys actually are a real couple." Penny's eyes found Leonard's face of their own volition. He was studiously looking at the game board.

"Okay," Penny clapped Sheldon on the back before leaning down to rest her elbows on her thighs. "Let's start over, ladies."

* * * * *

"Good game," she told Raj in a condescending tone. She stuck out her hand to shake his and he rolled his eyes. He studied her for a moment with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not sure how you did it, but I believe you were cheating. Perhaps you are a witch?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You got me," Penny answered through a yawn as she stretched and rose from the couch. "_Bifidus Regularis_," she murmured with a small wave of her hand. Raj's eyes got comically large for a moment before he glared at her and walked away. She leaned over to help Leonard finish putting the game pieces back into the box. Their fingers brushed as she placed the thimble next to the top hat. Penny glanced up at him, brushing her hair out of her eyes in the process. He swallowed at her before dropping the lid onto the box. With a tight smile, he retreated to his bedroom. Penny watched him walk away before turning to look at his roommate.

Sheldon, upon losing quite badly to her, had fled to the safety of his desk. He was staring intently at the screen, his long fingers resting on the home row as if waiting for the okay from his brain to fly across the keys. Penny scrutinized him for a minute before approaching slowly. She knew he could sense her, feel her, as his neck stiffened and his eyes remained forward unblinkingly. He silently stared at a word document for thirty more seconds, Penny's gaze insistent upon him and his upon the blinking cursor on the screen.

"Yes?" he finally asked flatly without facing her at all.

"What are you working on?" She spun around and perched gingerly on the edge of his desk.

He eyed her distastefully. "Nothing at the moment."

Penny rolled her eyes at him before leaning forward and draping her arms around his broad shoulders in a hug. "I think I'm gonna head home," she announced quietly.

"Okay," he answered somewhat stiffly, struggling to meet her eye in their close proximity. Penny breathed in deeply at his neck, taking in his scent. She expelled it loudly. "Was there something else I could help you with?" Sheldon asked after a moment.

He was so extremely frustrating. How could he have been so willing to discuss their relationship in front of their friends that afternoon and now be completely indifferent? His eye twitched slightly and Penny watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "Are you coming over?"

"Did you make your bed?" he asked immediately. Penny sighed and moved forward to drop onto his lap unceremoniously. Sheldon sputtered in surprise before allowing his hands to settle on her knee.

"No," she said resolutely. "I didn't." She raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him. Sheldon's eyes narrowed before he pursed his lips, as if tasting something sour.

"I have work to do," he answered with a gesture toward his computer screen.

"Yeah," Penny retorted with a grin. "You seem very in the zone right now."

"You are currently a bit of a distraction," Sheldon conceded with a hint of blush tinting his cheeks.

Penny cupped his face and planted a kiss on his lips. Sheldon's strong fingers tightened on her kneecap before she pulled away. "Thank you," she responded cheekily.

"I believe I will have to purchase a second toothbrush and pillow to keep at your apartment," Sheldon stated. "As it is getting to be a bit of a hassle to constantly be carrying my belongings with me."

"Aw," Penny cooed sweetly. "You're like my little nomad."

"Penny," Sheldon started in a condescending tone, "Nomads were known to constantly be moving on to different settlements, whereas I am simply moving between to different residences." He paused to think. "In general terms, I'm really more of a commuter."

"Whatever," Penny answered as she rose from his lap. "Are you coming over or what?"

"Your morning breath is not something I am prepared to handle," he said.

"Huh?" she asked with a wrinkled nose.

"I think it is worth discussing early into this new paradigm that your breath in the morning when you wake up is offensive," Sheldon replied. He spun in his chair to follow her movement toward the door.

"That's so crazy, because… bite me." She crossed her arms over her chest with a sarcastic sneer. "Goodnight guys," she said to Howard and Raj. They waved distractedly from the couch, where they were clearly absorbed in a re-run of something heinous such as 'Xena: Warrior Princess'.

"You're leaving?" Sheldon asked confusedly.

"I would come over there and say goodbye, but I don't want to breathe all over you," she replied pointedly before turning and leaving quickly. She stomped across the hall and into her apartment. She shut her door harder than she needed to, startling even herself with the noise it made. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and Penny pulled it out, expecting to see Sheldon's name on the screen.

It was her sister.

"Hey," Penny greeted after flipping the phone open.

"What are you doing for the folks' anniversary?" Cali asked without preamble

"Shit," Penny groaned as she bent down to make the bed. "I forgot. When is it?"

"Week after next," her sister replied. "It's a big one, too. Twenty-five."

"Any ideas?" Penny asked as she smoothed the comforter over the pillows.

"We're thinking about throwing a surprise party," Cali said. "But do you think you could get here for it?"

"You and Ty are throwing a party? For our parents?" Penny tried to keep the mocking tone out of her voice, but was sure she hadn't succeeded.

"Shut up," Cali answered.

"No, that's great," Penny encouraged. There were three quiet knocks on the door, followed by the low soft sound of Sheldon's voice calling her name "I'll try to get it off from work." She quickly left her bedroom and hurried toward the door. He had just finished his third set of knocks when she opened the door wordlessly.

"Any idea for a gift?" her sister asked.

He stood awkwardly before her in his regular Saturday pajamas, robe tied around his waist. "Isn't a party a good enough gift?" Penny asked as she opened the door more widely to allow Sheldon into the apartment. He clutched his pillow and a book in one hand and his toothbrush in the other. He gave her a small nod and brushed past her toward the bedroom.

"I don't think so kid," Cali chuckled.

Penny followed Sheldon through the bedroom and into her bathroom, where he delicately placed his toothbrush case and UV light on the shelf above her sink. She felt her heart twist when he glanced over at her and gave her a small smile. There was a noise on the other end of the phone.

"Damn it," Cali groaned. "I gotta go. The dog peed on the bathroom floor."

"Yeah," Penny said with a nod before flipping her phone shut. She dazedly turned to watch Sheldon stare at her bed.

"You made your bed," he said with a hint of awe on his face. Penny rolled her eyes at him so deeply she didn't notice him moving toward her until his hands settled on her hips and his lips descended to hers, kissing her deeply. Penny rocked backwards for a moment before settling herself and wrapping her arms around his neck. She pulled away and cocked her head to the side.

"How's my breath?" she asked with a grin.

Sheldon licked his lips quickly. "When did you eat a Pop Tart?"

"Shut up," she answered, feeling and sounding like a teenager. She poked him in the stomach, only letting her finger linger for a second longer than it should.

"I am in the middle of a chapter in a book I am currently reading and wish to finish it tonight, if that is socially acceptable." He pulled his robe off and hung it on the hook stuck to the back of her door.

"Ooh," Penny said. "What are you reading?" She pulled a tank top and pajama pants out of her dresser.

"'Physics of the Impossible," he started, "A Scientific Exploration into the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel'" He held up the book for her to see.

"So, not Grisham then?" Penny asked sarcastically. She unzipped her denim skirt and let it puddle around her ankles and stepped into her pants. Then she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it in the direction of her overflowing hamper before pulling her tank on and smoothing it down over her ribs. She turned to look at him, expecting a sneer. What she got instead was a gaping mouth with no sound.

It was only then that Penny realized her mistake.

She'd just undressed in front of Sheldon without even thinking about it.

The silence hung in the air. "Uh….." She didn't know what to say. Should she apologize to him? That seemed strange, since he was the one standing in her bedroom at eleven o'clock at night. But he did seem a little shell-shocked right now. "Sorry?"

"I just didn't foresee this turn of events." He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her for a moment before pointing toward the floor at her feet. "Are you planning on picking that up?" Penny glanced down at the pile of denim skirt that was lying on her carpet. She rolled her eyes before stooping to lift it and toss it toward the hamper.

"Better?" she asked. He nodded. Penny narrowed her eyes. "Is that what that expression was for? My clothes on the floor and not the fact that I was just mostly naked in front of you?"

Sheldon thought it over. "Forty- sixty," he finally answered with a wiggle of his hand. She simply shook her head at him before reaching behind her back to unhook her bra and pulling it out from under her tank top. "Okay, seventy-thirty."

"Let's get into bed and you can read to me," Penny suggested as she pulled back the comforter on her side of the bed.

Sheldon gave her a confused look. "This is not really a 'bedtime story' type of book, Penny."

"Well," she retorted as she snuggled under the covers, "I think I would like to listen to you."

"So what you're saying is the sound of my voice puts you to sleep?" Sheldon replied flatly.

"Something like that," Penny teased. Sheldon reached above his head, stretching. Penny's eyes landed on the strip of abdomen that became exposed. Her mouth became dry at the sight of the line of hair that disappeared into his pajama bottoms. It was gone a moment later as his arms came back down to his sides and he climbed into bed next to her.

"Penny," Sheldon said softly. She rolled onto her side to face him. "Is our relationship moving forward at a speed that is amenable to you?"

"If we're going with that metaphor, then I would say we're a little bit like driving down Euclid Avenue." Sheldon furrowed his brow. "We have plenty of speed bumps, Sheldon." She bit her lip and reached out to touch his hand. "Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why did you bring up the whole bed-making thing this afternoon in front of the guys?"

"Well," he said slowly, "Wolowitz was angering me in a way that I still don't entirely understand. I thought it might upset him." He shrugged his shoulders before reaching behind himself to re-adjust his pillows and opened his book.

"Why do you think it would piss Howard off?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not an idiot, Penny." She rolled her eyes at him. "I know they all think this relationship isn't real and isn't going to work out at all."

Penny clicked her teeth together several times in quick succession. "What do you think about that?"

Sheldon sighed and allowed his hand to move toward hers slowly. "I…I know little of relationships," he conceded after a moment's hesitation. "My parents didn't have a happy marriage by any means. But," he continued as he ran his thumb across the back of her hand, "I know it means something that you came home and made your bed because I asked you to. And it means something that I let you win at Monopoly earlier." His mouth quirked up on one side.

Penny leaned up at kissed his cheek gently before settling down against his side. He silently found his page before clearing his throat.

* * * * *

She stirred some time later to the feeling of Sheldon's arms around her, trying to move her. Penny looked up blearily before sitting up. He slid down to lay flat on his back. She watched him through sleepy eyes as he settled himself. He looked up at her with wide eyes. "I'm done now," he announced quietly. He raised his arm expectantly. Penny grinned and snuggled against his side again.

"This is new," Penny stated softly into his chest.

"Yes," he agreed. "I'm giving it a go."

"Your arm is going to fall asleep," she pointed out.

Sheldon's eyes slid closed. "When that happens, I will push you away."

"You're so romantic," she sighed. She felt him move his head slightly so his mouth was against her hair. He breathed in deeply. "You just smelled me,"

"I knew I shouldn't have woken you up," he mumbled. "Should have just slept sitting up. Now you're going to keep talking."

"No, I won't." Penny yawned before closing her eyes again.

Silence.

"What do you mean you let me win at Monopoly earlier?"

* * * * *


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I really wanted to thank everyone for reading this and thank you for the lovely comments. From this point on, this fic has an 'M' rating kids. Let me know what you think :)

* * * * *

The other side of the mattress was empty.

Penny sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and frowned at the spot next to her. She touched it and found it cold. Penny made quick work of swinging her legs off the edge of the bed and leaving her bedroom.

Sheldon was in the kitchen, still in his pajamas and matching robe.

He was sweeping.

At six in the morning.

"Sweetie," she whined as she shuffled toward him. The chill in the air caught up to her and she wrapped her arms around herself. "Why are you up so early?"

"This has been driving me nuts," he explained in a hurried tone as he crouched to use the dust pan.

She sat down on the arm of the sofa. "Sheldon, I'm really proud of your ability to keep your creepy and annoying habits in check so well." She paused. "Well, for the most part I guess."

"Would the counterpart to that be" Sheldon responded as he stood back up and wiped down the counter, " you not singing in the shower so much?" She stuck her tongue out at him. "I should commend you on your maturity."

"Whatever, Roomba."

His jaw visibly tightened.

"So, I don't know if you remember this," Penny started.

"-I have an eidetic memory," Sheldon muttered. "I remember everything."

"-_but…_" she pointedly talked over him, "I'm going to Nebraska tomorrow for a couple days."

He looked at her unsurely for a minute. "Is it social protocol for me to offer to accompany you?" he asked.

Penny stared at him wide-eyed. "No," she said with conviction. "I mean it's nice that you even thought to ask, but…no. I definitely do not expect you to do that." He looked visibly relieved. "I mean," she continued as she stood again and walked slowly toward him. "We're not even like a real couple for sure."

Sheldon freezes and he swivels his head slowly toward her, looking bird-like. "I thought we were a couple."

"Well no," Penny said, instantly backtracking. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. "I mean yeah, we are in our own way." An awkward chuckle escaped her. "But it isn't necessarily what…popular culture would call a real relationship." He still was giving her an odd expression, close to bewilderment. "I'm just…would you ever refer to me as your girlfriend, like to yours friends or something?"

"My friends already know you," he pointed out with raised eyebrows.

"Okay," Penny answered with a roll of her eyes. "People at work then."

"Mmm," Sheldon shook his head. "I don't care for anyone I work with. I speak to them only when absolutely necessary."

Penny ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Okay! Look, the point is that none of those people would call me your girlfriend. And neither would you." She waved an arm toward him.

He hummed as he knit his brow. "That is true," he conceded after a pause. "The term 'girlfriend' seems rather generic, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Penny asked with a smirk.

"It seems perfectly clear, but I will once again further explain for you," he answered brusquely.

"Thanks buddy," she retorted in a flat voice.

"To use the term 'my girlfriend' seems like you could be talking about a shoe or…a tea cozy." Sheldon gave her a pointed expression, as if waiting for her to nod her understanding. She slowly shook her head. He sighed loudly. "It implies ownership, which would be impossible unless we were still entrenched in the time period where buying and selling humans was acceptable."

Penny smiled at him. It was unnerving how he could be completely sweet without meaning to in the least. "Oh," she finally said in a small voice.

"Furthermore," he added. "Many people it would seem have girlfriends. I appear to be the only one that has you, though. I have Penny."

Her stomach dropped to her knees and bounced back up.

"And you don't even realize you're doing it," she muttered with a shake of her head.

"Doing what?" Sheldon asked.

"Nothing," she answered.

He looked at her for a long moment and Penny started wishing she'd slipped on her bathrobe before leaving the bedroom. She shook her head, upset with herself. She was in her apartment with her….Sheldon at six in the morning and shouldn't feel the impulse to cover herself up more. Things were completely backwards somehow.

And yet, it was probably the healthiest relationship she'd ever been in.

"Would you refer to me as your boyfriend?"

Penny was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of his voice and she glanced up at him. "No," she replied slowly. "I probably wouldn't. It…doesn't really fit you."

"Why not?" he asked, angling his head to the side.

"I can't really explain it," she murmured with another shake of her head.

Sheldon visibly twitched and his hands became tense at his sides. Penny bit her lip, worried that he was short-circuiting. She didn't have an up-to-date warranty on him. "Is this about copulation?" he asked finally. Penny stared at him, mouth agape.

"Partly," she answered truthfully.

"I see," he replied.

He twitched again and brushed past her, toward the door. Penny felt sick as she turned to watch him hurry out the door. She sighed and rubbed her forehead before following him. "Sheldon…" she called out softly. He opened the door to his own apartment and she caught it before he could close it in her face. "Why are you wigging…."

Her question died on her tongue.

Leonard stood in the kitchen in his underwear, eating breakfast with a girl Penny had never seen before. Sheldon gave Penny a pointed look. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hi," Leonard finally said in an overly cheery tone. They all looked at each other for a moment longer, awkwardness thick in the air. "Oh! Sheldon, Penny this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Sheldon. And that's Penny." He pointed them each out to the tiny red head that stood next to him eating oatmeal day. "This could not get more awkward," he added with fake happiness.

The door swung open and Howard and Raj entered, deeply involved in a conversation about something Penny didn't try to understand. Leonard dropped his head into his hands and groaned. "Top o' the mornin' to yeh'," Howard announced in an Irish accent. When his eyes landed on Olivia, he tipped an imaginary hat to her. "Morning, lass." Penny reached over and smacked him lightly on the back of the head. He frowned at her.

"Hey, here's a question." Everyone glanced over at Leonard. "Why is everyone in my apartment at ten after six in the morning?"

"We are out for a little early morning kite flying excursion and were wondering if you guys wanted to join us." Howard explained. He looked around the room for a response of some kind. "No?"

"Mmm," Sheldon hummed, thinking it over. "I have no need to win a 'Hello Kitty' kite, so my involvement would be pointless." He managed one more glance at Penny before turning and striding toward his bedroom.

"It's nice to meet you, Olivia." Penny smiled warmly at the girl who was currently willing the ground to open up and swallow her. The red head grinned back gratefully.

"You too," she answered.

Penny sighed and walked down the hallway to Sheldon's bedroom. She opened the door quickly without knocking and let herself in. He was in the process of taking his pajama shirt off. She swallowed over the dry lump in her throat. He stood there in his white tee shirt, staring blankly at her. "You're in my bedroom," he pointed out uselessly in a monotone.

"It would appear so," Penny agreed with a deadpanned nod. She moved slowly toward him. "So…" She raised her eyebrows at him. He matched her expression, waiting for her to continue. "Are we going to talk about what just happened?"

"Alright," Sheldon answered. "It seems Leonard has allowed some strange girl to eat my oatmeal. On the wrong day."

"Not. That." She didn't mean to snap at him, but couldn't help herself. He gave her a look of mild alarm. "The fact that you just left my apartment."

"I'd rather not discuss it with you," he replied after a moment's hesitation.

Penny had seen him with less than three layers on before, but had never had the opportunity or instinct to actually look at him. She saw… definition. Slight, hardly perceptible unless you were specifically looking for it, but there nonetheless. Her tongue came out and licked her lips quickly. "Why not?" she asked belatedly, pulling herself back to the conversation she was in the middle of.

He looked sheepish, small. "It's just not something I feel you need to know about." He was clearly distraught about something.

"Sheldon," she called softly as she moved farther toward him. She touched his arm gently, but he refused to meet her eye. A blush was rising on his cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"I…" He shook his head and fidgeted and shifted his weight quickly from one foot to the other. "I appear to be exhibiting clear physiological implications toward you." Penny shook her head and frowned, needing him to translate out of Sheldonese once again for her. He sighed. "I…had a dream about you last night."

Her brain stopped all function. Was he actually implying that he'd had a…? "Really?" she asked in a quiet hopeful voice. He nodded unsurely. Penny tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling before letting her eyes close in satisfaction. "Thank God," she murmured.

"I understand your impulse to make everything about you Penny," Sheldon spoke up. "But I'm actually the one suffering here."

"Suffering?" she asked, offended. He gave her a troubled look. "Have I ever mentioned how completely charming you are?"

"Yes," he replied with a nod.

Penny exhaled and pulled her hair back into a messy bun with the band she had around her wrist. "Okay," she started. She placed one hand on each of his arms. "Was it… a good dream?"

He looked for a moment like a little boy who was afraid he was going to get into trouble. He was weighing out whether it was going to work to lie. "Yes?" he said quietly. "I had to come home this morning and change my underpants." He was speaking quickly, his words tumbling out of him with the speed he usually reserved for scientific explanations. "When I came back, it was easier to clean your kitchen than to get back into bed and risk waking you." Penny bit her lip to keep from grinning. "And now you're laughing at me."

"I'm not," she smiled with a shake of her head.

"You're laughing right now," he pointed out flatly.

"It's just," she bit her lip. "You're acting like this is some …unnatural…affliction you're experiencing." She reached up to cup his face with her hands. "It's a completely normal thing, Sheldon."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Yes, thank you for that lesson in male anatomy." Penny dropped her hands to her side. "Dreams such as the one I experienced last night are unavoidable. However, I have never before had one about a specific person before."

Penny was trying to focus on him, but her insides were squirming terribly. She felt nerves and excitement, akin to getting crowned Prom Queen. Except, she was an adult now. And she was having an adult conversation. Or, at least she was on the way to having one. "What was I doing?" she asked him with a quirked brow.

"That seems impertinent," he answered quickly, seeming surprised that she would ask.

Penny rose up and kissed him gently on the lips. He responded, dipping his head lower to meet her. She felt something turn over in her stomach and tried to relax herself against what she was about to do. She slowly brought one of her hands up to his bicep and slid it all the way down his arm to clasp his hand in hers. Then, she brought his hand up to cover her breast. His breath stilled and his hand gave the tiniest shake before relaxing against her.

"What are you doing?" he asked with an edge to his low voice.

"You are a genius," Penny replied with a roll of her eyes. "And that is a dumb-ass question."

"Penny," he whispered unsurely. She reached her free arm up to snake around his neck and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. Sheldon allowed her tongue access immediately, tilting his head to kiss her more deeply than he ever had before. The hand that wasn't cupping her breast wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Penny let a moan escape her before pulling away. Sheldon's eyes were wide and dark now.

Then she felt his fingers move.

Gently, they whispered over her breast, causing her nerve endings to ignite. Penny bit her lip and tilted her head down. His thumb settled in the center, tracing a cautious circle around her nipple. She heard a whimper and had to assume it had come from her. "Penny?" Sheldon asked a small voice. She nodded her head, more vigorously than necessary. He rubbed the pad of his thumb across her nipple and Penny felt it harden almost painfully. She was suddenly glad she wasn't wearing a bra. Heat flooded between her thighs.

"Huh," he noted.

"Huh?" she repeated as she glanced up at him under heavy lids.

"The way it…" Sheldon murmured softly. He brushed his thumb across it again. Penny sighed. "Am I to assume I'm doing this correctly thus far?"

Penny chuckled airily. "Yeah, this…" He pinched it experimentally. "Good, Sheldon." She exhaled contentedly.

"Penny," he said in a low gravelly voice as she pulled him down into a searing kiss once more and pressed herself further into his palm. She reached her hand out blindly and landed on his flat stomach. Fumbling lower, she rucked his shirt up to reveal his naked torso and let her hand brush against his waistband. Sheldon broke away with a choke. "We should stop," he said thickly as he stepped backwards to sit on the edge of his bed

"Are you okay?" she asked breathlessly.

"I'm fine," he answered as he cleared his throat. "I'm just starting to feel…." He casually grabbed a pillow and brought it to his lap.

"Okay," Penny said after a moment. She tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear and nodded. "Yeah. I'll see you tonight, right?" she asked.

Sheldon shook his head. "Leonard and I have to be in to the university early tomorrow morning for a meeting. I was planning on sleeping here tonight." He glanced around his bedroom. "I've kind of missed my room." Penny knew better than to actually be offended in any way by that comment. "I probably won't see you until tomorrow night."

"My flight out is actually tomorrow afternoon," Penny pointed out as she fiddled with the drawstring on her pants. "So you won't even see me then."

"Oh." His eyes glazed over. "Yes, of course." He rose and approached her, hand extended. "I hope your flight is good."

"I hope you make out well in Klingon Boggle," she answered. The blonde took his hand and shook it firmly. A moment later, his mouth was crushing against hers almost desperately. Penny wrapped an arm around his stomach and pulled him closer, feeling him hard against her. Sheldon backed away instantly.

"I'm sorry," he choked out.

"I'm not," Penny said clearly. His clouded eyes met hers and she smiled, touching his cheek. "I like that I can do…that to you, Sheldon."

"I don't," he replied. "It's embarrassing. It makes me feel helpless." He crossed his arms over his chest and Penny tried not to let her eyes linger on his exposed forearms.

"Sheldon," she said softly. "That little trick you just did with my nipple? The same basic thing, you know." He blushed quickly and deeply with a slight nod. "I could give you another clue," she continued as she stepped closer to him, "but I don't think you're ready for it." She raised an eyebrow at his expression. "Yet," she added.

"You should go now," he nodded definitively.

"Yeah," she agreed, reaching her hand out again. He took it and shook it with vigor. "I'll call you later this week." He nodded. "If I get around to it," she added cheekily.

"Thanks," her replied sarcastically. She smiled widely at him as she opened the door to leave.

"No problem."

* * * * *

Penny climbed slowly out of the cab, dragging her bags with her before throwing them haphazardly over her shoulder. It had been a long couple of days. All she wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep for the next fourteen hours. She looked up at her apartment building before taking in the smoggy gray city skyline.

It was so good to be home.

Pushing her oversized sunglasses up her nose with her one free finger, she wrenched the door open with as much force as she could. A moment later, she was literally running into someone moving at a fast rate of speed. Penny fell back, cushioned from hitting the ground by the bags she landed on.

A male voice above her squeaked.

"Hey Raj," she greeted wearily from the floor.

"Sorry," he noted with wide eyes and he held out a hand to help her up. She took it and allowed herself to be hoisted upward. A small surprised yelp escaped her. The Indian doctor was stronger than he appeared.

"Would you wait up already?" Howard was coming down the stairs. "It's not like-" He stopped dead, taking in the scene in front of him. "Penny!" The small man bounded down the steps and hugged her. She patted him on the back with one hand before bending over to retrieve her bags.

"-and if we've lost the good spot, heaven help your-" Sheldon fell silent and froze in his tracks for a moment before Leonard ran in to him from behind, causing both of them to tumble down the last two stairs. Sheldon's surprised eyes never left Penny's face.

"Hey," she smiled at him as she threw her bags over her shoulder again.

"Hello," Sheldon greeted her with a compliant expression. He shuffled awkwardly for a moment before clasping his hands behind his back. "I trust your flight was satisfactory."

"Yeah," she answered with a slow shake of her head. "It was fine. But I'm glad to be home." She took two steps toward him and reached up to kiss his cheek. He shrunk away from her and cleared his throat.

"I wish we could stay longer, but we are late for the movie." He straightened back up.

"You're kidding," Leonard muttered derisevely as he emerged from behind Sheldon's larger form. The tall physicist bristled. "You would rather go to the movies than…nevermind." He rolled his eyes and turned to Penny. "How was Nebraska?" he asked.

"Uh, good." Penny's eyes stayed trained on Sheldon throughout her answer. "Cold, but good." She touched Sheldon's hand and he flinched.

"We'll miss coming attractions," Sheldon noted.

"What are you guys going to see?"

"'Avatar'", Raj answered flatly.

"For the eighth time," Howard finished.

Sheldon looked offended. "It's in 3-D this time." Penny nodded and Sheldon sighed. "Would you like to come with us?" he asked.

"No, three times was good for me," she answered with a smirk and a nod. "You boys have fun though. I'm going to go upstairs and sleep until Thursday." She yawned before addressing Sheldon again. "I'll see you…later?"

Sheldon seemed confused. "One would have to assume so. We live next door to each other."

Penny felt her jaw tighten and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, good to be home." She trudged past the four guys and up the stairs.

Penny landed on her couch within moments of entering her apartment and drifted off to sleep, trying not to think about how Sheldon had reacted to her return.

* * * * *

How could she have nine hundred channels and still find nothing on? Flipping blindly through channels, Penny found a flash of Paula Deen and Mike Rowe before settling on a John Cusack movie she didn't recognize. She was currently biding her time. There was a conversation she needed to have with Sheldon, Penny knew that much. They had not talked at all in the time she was gone, and the divide suddenly seemed huge. Why had he shied away from her touch?

The soft knock on her door jarred her from her thoughts. Puzzled, she rose from the couch and stepped over the bags she still hadn't unpacked to open the door. Raj stood before her with his usual shy grin. He mutely handed her a box of 'Sour Patch Kids' before stepping past her and into the apartment.

"Thanks, Raj." She opened the box immediately and pulled out a green one to chew on. "How was the movie?"

"Three dimensional," he answered with a shrug as he looked around her living room. "You missed the episode this week."

"I recorded it," Penny grinned with a point to her cable box. "I was waiting for you to get back from the theatre before I watched it." She chewed thoughtfully for a moment, watching him. "Was it good?" His eyes grew wide and he nodded. She tucked one leg under herself as she sat back down on the couch clutching her box of candy. "Let's watch it."

He frowned and glanced down at her unsurely. "I…think I need to tell you something?"

"Are you sure?" Penny asked with a chuckle as she popped another 'kid' into her mouth. Raj looked ill. Then he nodded. "Spill it."

"While you were gone," he started slowly, "Sheldon and Leonard had a…sort of fight." He winced.

Penny now _felt_ ill. "About what?" she asked around a mouthful of gummi.

"You?"

Penny didn't remember actually standing, but found herself face to face with the astrophysicist. "Are you kidding me?"

He shook his head. "At least I think that's what happened. They are not really talking right now."

"Why were they fighting about me?" she asked, fearing the answer.

"I'm not sure," Raj replied doubtfully. "But there are only so many things it could be about."

Penny's eyes narrowed and she handed him the small box. "We'll watch in just a minute, but first I have to go talk to someone." She stalked past him and across the hall quickly. Leonard sat at his computer. He glanced up and closed his browser quickly. "Is Sheldon here?" she asked without bothering with niceties.

"Yeah," Leonard answered as he hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "In his room."

"Hallway?" she continued in an overly sweet voice. He furrowed his brow and followed her out to the hallway. Penny crossed her arms and smiled at him until the door clicked shut. Her smile dropped from her face quickly. "Are you ready to have it out now?"

Leonard looked helplessly back toward his door. "Penny, what are you-?"

"-because I am ready to have it out already, Leonard."

He watched her blankly for several moments before opening his mouth. "I think you've made your point," he finally said. "You can stop now."

"I'm talking about me and Sheldon here."

"So am I," he answered quietly.

Penny ground her teeth together so hard she was worried about cracking one of them. "You're joking right now," she reasoned slowly. "I know you have to be joking right now, because there is no other way you would suggest that…" She felt it welling up inside of her quickly. "Fuck _you_, Leonard."

"You already have," he said quietly. Penny almost reached out a hand to slap him, but she could tell by his facial expression that he felt repulsion at his own comment. "I'm so sorry," he said in a slow even tone. "I don't know how to…do this."

"There's no 'doing' here for you, Leonard." She advanced on him. "You aren't a part of this at all. And you…_can not_ be sleeping with some random girl and still be mad at me for…tentatively dating Sheldon."

"But… I am," Leonard answered quickly, waving his arms.

"Get over it," she replied in a flat tone. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Leonard, you're still one of my best friends, and I need that." Leonard rolled his eyes and Penny sighed. "Sweetie, we didn't work. You know that." Hw wandered past her to sit on the staircase.

"Yeah," he responded.

And it wasn't your fault," she added as she sat next to him. "And it wasn't my fault. And it definitely wasn't Sheldon's fault." Leonard nodded in silence.

"Well," he said after a moment. "That's not entirely true." Penny gave him a sideways glance. "He never wanted us to be together." She raised an eyebrow. "What if he was trying to get in between us from the beginning? Because he wanted you for himself?"

Penny chuckled humorlessly. "I'm not even sure he wants me now, when he can actually have me."

"So, you're not…?" he asked leadingly.

"None of your business," she answered lightly. "But if it was, I would say we weren't even close." She dropped her head to her hands. "Do not ever repeat this, but I'm getting a tiny bit frustrated."

"I think Wolowitz would volunteer to help you out with that," Leonard joked.

She punched him in the arm.

"Leonard, I know he isn't really good at showing it." He chuckled. "But I think he cares about me."

"I _know _he does," Leonard countered. Penny looked over at him.

"Despite that, I think if it came down to choosing between you and I…he would choose you." Leonard shook his head.

"No, he wouldn't."

"It isn't fair to do this to him, Leonard. He's new to this whole…human experience," she cracked with a rye grin.

"Yeah," he agreed. "He seems really happy lately. I can only assume it's because of you." He gave her a cautious look. "I know how you used to make me feel." Penny felt a warmth spread through her chest at the term 'used to'. Leonard was moving on. She had to trust that this was the light at the end of the tunnel and things could only get better from here.

"So," she said. "Tell me about this girl."


	6. Chapter 6

"What are you doing?"

She stared at the back of his head, willing him to turn around and acknowledge her. Several minutes of silence passed and Penny finally realized it was unlikely. She stood and approached Sheldon, who sat at his computer.

"I asked what you were doing," she pointed out as she leaned over his shoulder to plant her face right next to his.

"Mmhmm," he agreed with a hum. "I was ignoring you."

"You don't say," Penny drawled out sarcastically. "I thought you needed your hearing checked."

Sheldon kept his eyes on the screen. "Unlikely," he countered. "I had my annual checkup two weeks ago and passed my hearing test with flying colors." He paused. "In case you were wondering, that term comes from the practice of a victorious fleet of ships pulling into port with colorful flags flying from the mastheads."

Penny pulled away to look at him. "Yeah, I wasn't." Leaning back down, she added, "but thanks anyway. So, what are you doing?"

Sheldon sighed and tipped his head away from her slightly. "I'm updating all of my software and cleaning out old files I'm not using."

"Like what?" Penny asked as she continued to deliberately invade his personal space.

"Old research topics," he answered quickly as he moved icons around his desktop. "Nothing that would mean anything to you." Penny pulled away sharply and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not a total idiot, you know." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Sheldon spun in his chair to face her, confusion on his face. "I don't actually remember saying that you were." He folded his hands in his lap. "I was merely stating that the subject matter wouldn't interest you any more than hearing about how busy the dinner rush was at The Cheesecake Factory last night would interest me."

"You know," she started uncertainly, "There's this modeling job I'm trying to get right now. I might not be at The Cheesecake Factory that much longer."

She hadn't wanted to mention it, because it was a long shot. A friend of the roommate of one of her co-workers needed someone to do a shoe spread for an internet ad campaign and she'd sent her head shot in. The chances of it even being taken seriously were slim to none, but Penny was holding out hope that she would get it.

And that they would pay her in shoes.

"Will I have to listen to stories about modeling then?" he asked without missing a beat.

Penny sighed in frustration. "Don't you think you could maybe want to be in my life occasionally?"

"Penny," Sheldon started as he rose from his desk chair, an all-too-familiar tone of condescension in his voice. "I think we are in each other's lives plenty. There is no reason why we should have to share everything." He paused. "You don't want to hear about physics and I definitely do not want to hear about how you have a funny new bartender."

Penny opened her mouth and then closed it again. "That…actually makes a lot of sense."

"I always do," he responded quickly, looking smug.

"Huh," Penny said. "Sorry."

Sheldon reared his head back in surprise, his eyebrows coming together in the middle of his forehead. "You're apologizing?" Penny shrugged her shoulders. "You never apologize to me." Penny clenched her jaw but stayed silent. "In fact," he continued as he rose to approach her, "you seem to always have to be right."

"_I_ always have to be right?" Penny laughed incredulously. "You're a funny boy, Sheldon."

He smirked at her before clasping his hands behind his back. "Do you have plans for this evening, Penny?"

"Oh, are you asking me on a date, sweetie?" Penny smiled sweetly.

"Well, I'm re-thinking it now," Sheldon easily volleyed.

Penny reached up and gently touched his cheek. He leaned ever so slightly into her palm and Penny felt a fluttering in her chest. "I don't have any plans tonight, no." She cocked her head to the side. "What did you have in mind?"

His eyes took on an energetic gleam. "There's an exhibit at the-"

"No," Penny interjected quickly. "No exhibits at the science museum or wherever it is you're thinking of." She shook her head defiantly. Sheldon frowned sadly. "I'm sorry, but for every suggestion you make for a museum, my counter offer will be a 'Project Runway' marathon." She quirked her mouth up on one side. "I really want Mila to win."

"Okay," Sheldon said with raised hands. "You've made your point. There must be something we can agree upon."

Penny closed her eyes for a moment to keep from rolling them back into her head. "Okay," she said slowly. She thought for a moment. They didn't really like any of the same things. So, it needed to be something that neither one of them would enjoy. "Bowling?" she finally suggested with a raised eyebrow.

He seemed to think over the idea. "That would be acceptable." He turned and moved toward his bedroom.

"Sheldon, where are you going?" Penny called after him.

"To get my wrist brace," he answered over his shoulder.

"Okay, well before we go, I have to finish unpacking." She heard his footsteps before she saw him and she couldn't stop the grin the from coming to her face.

"You have been home for a full week," Sheldon admonished as he walked toward her, wrist brace in his hand. "You still haven't unpacked?"

"Correct," Penny agreed with a nod. He had a horrified expression on his face. "I've been busy though."

"Yes," Sheldon answered flatly. "I heard 'American Idol' is doing live shows again."

"Do you want to keep me company?" Penny asked as she opened the door to leave his apartment.

She didn't really need to ask. He was close on her heels. "If I don't come along, the chances of you actually unpacking are slim to none." Penny shook her head as she opened her door and ushered him in. "Do you currently have any Diet Coke?" he asked.

"In the fridge?" she answered with a pointed finger. He walked over to her kitchen to retrieve it as Penny ambled back to her bedroom.

"Howard drank our last one the day before yesterday," Sheldon explained as he walked toward her room. "He was on a bit of a caffeine buzz."

Penny knew the moment he stepped to her doorway, because all sound coming from him stopped dead.

The truth was, he hadn't been in here since she'd come back from Nebraska. They'd been distant with each other to say the least, but he'd been moving infinitesimally closer every day. The ground they had to re-gain would probably not be easy, but Penny was fairly certain they would do it.

Penny turned to look at Sheldon uneasily. He was staring at her bed in naked shock.

"Your bed is made," he said after a minute's silence. He glanced up at her, seemingly for clarification.

"Yeah," she answered slowly. She shrugged at his raised eyebrow. "You were right about it. The sheets feel really good when you climb in." She bent over to pick up her still-full suitcase and hauled it onto the bed to unzip it. "Last night, I climbed in naked. It was awesome."

There was a thud followed by the sound of fizzing and by the time Penny figured out what was going on, Sheldon was already on his knees pulling the soda can off of her floor hastily. She watched him straighten and leave the room quickly. He returned a minute later with a dish rag and a sponge and set to work at cleaning the mess. She found herself watching him blankly, trying to wrap her head around the fact that she'd actually made him drop the can. He made the entire process very quick and efficient, of course and had most likely cleaned the rag out and hug it to dry correctly before returning to her room.

"Do you have a hold on it now?" Penny asked impishly, gesturing to his soda can. She saw his jaw tense and was moving toward him before her brain could catch up to her body. Placing one hand against his chest, she raised herself to the balls of her feet and kissed him lightly. He responded, but didn't deepen the kiss at all. He tasted sweet and wonderful and Penny could not remember for the life of her why she didn't insist on doing that with him constantly.

"You're not going to get out of unpacking."

Maybe that was why.

Grumbling slightly, she turned back to her work. Penny pulled out dirty items of clothing one at a time and threw them toward her hamper. Then her eyes landed on a small pink striped bag that she'd actually forgotten about. She pulled it out and peeked inside of it with a grin.

"What is it?" he asked. Penny looked at him incredulously. Of course she was dating the one man in the world who didn't recognize a 'Victoria's Secret' bag. She told him this.

"You went all the way to Nebraska to visit a 'Victoria's Secret'?" he asked. "While I have never cared to venture near one myself, I'm given to understand we have stores in California as well."

"Yeah," Penny agreed as she set the small bag aside. "But it's a sort of tradition with me and my sister-"

"My sister and I," he corrected under his breath.

Penny gave him a withering look before continuing. "-to go to 'Victoria's Secret' and pick out something for each other."

"What did she get you?" he asked naively.

She gave him a wicked grin. "I would show you," she answered lightly, "But I'm afraid it would make you drop your soda again."

He blushed quickly before ducking his head to look at the spot on her floor where he'd spilled his Diet Coke. "Yes, well…" He glanced up at her again. "I am afraid I now have a sticky sheen of syrup on me and am in need of a shower."

"Okay," Penny answered as he turned to leave. She sat quickly on her bed but sprang up immediately when he spun toward her again.

"Keep working," he warned with raised eyebrows. She blew him a kiss and watched as he tried not to smirk at her. "I'll be back in time for bowling this evening."

"Oh goody," Penny shot back sarcastically at his retreating figure before falling to her bed again.

* * * * *

"I'm framing this," Penny remarked as she held up the card. "This is amazing. I think we should do this sort of pseudo-athletic stuff more often." She smirked. "I always win."

"Miniature golf and bowling are merely two different instances," Sheldon countered. "That is hardly a correct usage of the term 'always'."

She turned to look at him as they climbed the stairs. "We've only done two physical activities together, Sheldon. Both times I have dominated, how is that not 'always'?"

"The definition of the word 'always' is-"

"Okay," Penny stopped him, holding up a hand. "Before you go all…Wikiipedia on me, I give." He looked pleased with himself. "But I'm still hanging this on my fridge."

"Very well," Sheldon acquiesced.

They reached the landing in companionable silence, but there was a sudden tension that built between them. He looked down at her hesitantly and she smiled, tipping her chin up toward him. He placed a hand unsurely on her shoulder before bending lower to kiss her lightly. Penny immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. She felt rather than heard a low rumble in Sheldon's throat and her stomach clenched. When they broke apart, he seemed to ask a silent question. Penny nodded quickly before stepping away from him. He turned wordlessly and entered his apartment. She waited for what felt like a lifetime, uncertainly watching his door. Maybe they'd mis-communicated. There was a fifty percent chance that he'd simply brushed his teeth and gone to bed in his own bed and he wasn't about to open the door and-

And then the door opened.

He was dressed in the Superman pajamas his sister had bought him for Christmas. Penny chuckled. He glanced down at himself before looking back at her. "What?"

"Nothing," Penny answered with a shake of her head. She grasped his hand and pulled him toward her apartment. Once inside, they collapsed onto her couch together. He grabbed the remote and turned the television on, finding 'Nova' within seconds. Penny rolled her eyes and tucked her legs underneath herself. The action caused her to tip toward Sheldon. Without missing a beat, he snaked an arm around her shoulders. Something tightened in her chest for a moment.

"You know," Penny spoke up when had regained the power of speech. "Easter is coming up soon."

"Yes," he agreed slowly. "Should I be scared of what meal you're going to force down my throat for _that _holiday?"

"I'm a good cook," she answered with a yawn.

"Yes, those Thanksgiving enchiladas were incredible."

Penny gave him a tiny pinch on his side before turning his face away from the television and toward her, kissing him. Sheldon responded quickly this time, rotating toward her and wrapping an arm around her waist.

While things may have been relatively awkward in the beginning, Sheldon's kissing technique had definitely improved over the last few months. With every kiss, he seemed to be learning more. The hardest part was the initial hurdle of getting him to accept her mouth near his, on his. Once Penny had accomplished that, everything else had sort of been falling into place.

When they broke apart for lack of oxygen, she found him studying her. "What?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head slightly. "I…" He sighed. "I missed you. When you were gone," he added unnecessarily. "I had some trouble sleeping a couple of nights," he continued with a shrug.

Penny knew this was an important thing for him to admit and therefore tried not to make it all about herself in that moment by jumping off of the couch and doing her Snoopy dance. She simply nodded her head. She raised one hand to touch his chin. "I missed you too, Moonpie." His eyes clouded for the briefest of moments, but he didn't correct her. "I… can we talk, sweetie?"

"What about?" Sheldon asked as he turned toward her.

Penny tucked her hair behind her ear and turned toward him to sit cross-legged on the cushion. Her knees pressed against his thigh, and although he glanced down pointedly, he remained silent. "About the thing that happened with you and Leonard while I was gone that nobody is talking about and that you're pretending didn't happen?"

He rolled his eyes. "How many sentences was that?"

"Sheldon," she whined softly, touching his forearm. He slowly licked his lips and muted the television. "Thank you."

"What is it that you want to know?" he asked after a moment's hesitation.

"I don't…" Penny shook her head. "I'm not sure, I guess."

Sheldon watched her in silence. He blinked. "Well," he said as he turned back toward her television, "that was a concise conversation."

"Are you guys okay?"

"To whom are you referring?" he asked as he started to channel surf.

Penny rolled her eyes. "You and Leonard."

"In what sense?"

"What are you, The Riddler?" she asked as she threw her arms into the air. His head snapped toward her and she could tell he was trying not to smile. She sighed. "I want to know that…"

"That?" Sheldon prodded impatiently.

"That you're still friends?" Penny guessed.

Sheldon stilled before turning the television off entirely. "Penny, I was given to understand you had a firmer grasp upon my relationship with Leonard than this."

"Pretend I don't," Penny ground out with narrowed eyes.

He breathed deeply. "It has been some time since I've considered Leonard my best friend, Penny." Penny drew back in alarm.

"What?" she asked. "Of course he is. You guys have been best friends for as long as I've known you." She leaned toward him again. "What….?" She didn't have an ending to that sentence. "Was this because of me?"

"No," he stated. "The breakdown in our friendship happened long before you became a factor." Penny furrowed her brow. "The North Pole," Sheldon answered simply as he slowly situated himself once again so he was facing her. "The likelihood of he and I ever having that level of friendship again is quite laughable." Penny made a noise of confusion. "Are you under the impression it was friendly of me to enter into a relationship with you only weeks after you broke up with him?"

"So, wait." Penny held up her hands. "You're telling me that you guys are, like not friends any more?"

"On the contrary, we are still in the same circle of acquaintances. But I don't consider him a better friend than I would …Wolowitz." Penny really couldn't wrap her head around any of it. "Furthermore," he added in a quieter voice," I thought it would be fairly obvious that I…" He met her eye nervously.

"That you?" Penny urged him on, leaning into him further.

"Well, it would seem you are, in fact, my best friend. Penny." He dropped his eyes to his lap.

She couldn't have stopped the wide grin if she had wanted to. Clearing her throat, she answered in a soft tone, "That is so…" Penny shook her head. "You're kind of my best friend, too." He searched her face skeptically and Penny smiled as reassuringly as she could. "I think…I think you've been my best friend for a while now," she noted. "I just didn't realize it." She shrugged self-consciously.

His face warmed slowly until he was smiling contentedly back at her.

Penny felt something shift in her stomach as she closed the distance between them and kissed him chastely on the lips. She felt her nerves building up in the pit of her stomach. His hands found her ribcage and pressed against her, drawing her closer to him. Quickly, almost too quickly, she felt a familiar sensation flooding into her. For two months, she'd been ignoring every sensation the physicist had caused. This time, she wasn't going to. The decision was easy to defend once she'd made it in her mind. "I think I'm going to shower, " Penny announced as she pulled away from him. Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Bowling….grime," she finished lamely as she rose from the couch.

"Would you like me to leave?" he asked her earnestly.

"No," she answered quickly. "Why don't you just get ready for bed and I'll be in in a few minutes?" Sheldon opened his mouth to say something, but closed it a moment later. Penny beat a hasty retreat, opening her top drawer quickly and removing two items before going into her bathroom and shutting the door. She started the water and waited impatiently for it to heat to the temperature she wanted. Once under the spray, she soaped up her entire body, letting the hot water rinse her clean. She shampooed her hair twice and then conditioned. After a moment's hesitation, she finally shaved her legs and armpits to be on the safe side.

Once she was satisfied with her results, she stepped out of the shower and towel dried herself, making sure to get as much moisture out of her hair as she could. Then, she carefully clipped the tags on the items her sister had bought her and pulled them on. She looked pretty good, she had to admit. Penny had been keeping a mental list since their first date of every important conversation she needed to have with Sheldon, but currently was ignoring every single one of them. Her libido was driving her at this moment, and she needed to get out of the bathroom before her brain could catch up to her body and stop her from doing this.

The way he'd looked a her a few minutes ago….

And so move quickly she did, pulling her short bathrobe on over her under things and tying the sash tightly. She opened the door and stepped into her bedroom. Sheldon sat up on his side of the bed, reading his damn physics book. He glanced up and smiled at her and Penny had a moment of surreality that involved this moment between them happening twelve years in the future after putting their children to bed. Shaking herself, she advanced toward the bed.

"I can leave the room if you need to change," Sheldon offered as he took in her appearance.

Ignoring his comment, Penny carefully climbed onto the bed, sitting up on her knees. "How's the book? Any crazy plot twists yet?" He merely rolled his eyes. Pulling her wet hair over one shoulder and away from him, Penny leaned over the top of his book and dropped kisses up his jaw line to his ear. He shuddered visibly when she passed over that one spot just under his lobe.

"Penny," he said softly. He dropped the book and his hands stilled flat against the pages. "What are…?" He never managed to finish the question, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"I was thinking," she whispered into his neck. "Remember that amazing morning in your bedroom?" Sheldon swallowed audibly before nodding his head slightly. Penny allowed her lips to curl into a smile against his skin. "I hoped you would." When their lips finally met, he was quick to reciprocate, tilting his head to the side. "I want to do something," she continued in a voice so quiet she couldn't hear it over the sound of her heart beating loudly in her chest. Before she could allow herself to chicken out, Penny reached down and untied her robe. She quickly shrugged out of it and tossed it to the ground.

Sheldon's eyes followed the garment as it landed on her floor. "Penny, I've told you repeatedly that if you would just put your clothes in the-" She chewed her lower lip nervously as she watched his eyes glaze over at the sight of what she had on under the robe.

Slowly, she raised one hand and waved it in front of his blank face.

She really couldn't blame him. He had to be in quite a bit of shock. The idea of another female having done this in his presence was ridiculous, this much Penny understood. But she was still uncertain if the trance-like state Sheldon was currently in was a good thing or a bad thing. It could really go either way with him. She tried to figure out the odds on if he would fall out of the bed in his haste to get away from her semi-naked body.

But there was one thing Penny did know, and that was how good she looked. She'd known somewhere in the back of her mind that her sister was watching the moment she'd first touched the scrap of lemon yellow lace in the store. Honestly, it hadn't taken much convincing on Cali's part, especially when they had found a demi bra that matched considerably well. The cups were unlined, and it caused the scratchy lace to rub against her flesh in a way Penny found enjoyable to an almost distracting degree.

She was yanked back to the present by the noise Sheldon was making in the back of his throat. He sounded as if he was trying to mimic a small bird. She leaned toward him and touched the side of his face, drawing his eyes up to her face. "You still with me, brainiac?" He swallowed and then nodded his head slowly. Penny smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth. His fingers, however, remained flat against the upturned pages of his book. Smothering her sigh of frustration, she scooted away from him and slid under the covers on the opposite side of he mattress. Turning onto her side, Penny watched him in silence.

"Are you going to sleep like that?" Sheldon asked her in a slightly manic tone.

Her hands came up to pillow her face. "I'm really not tired, actually."

There was that noise again. "Penny," he said slowly, almost like a warning. She quirked one eyebrow at him in challenge and was surprised at the force with which he close his book and dropped it to the floor next to him. With a gentle touch, Penny clasped his closest hand and manipulated it to land on her breast. Her breath hitched and Sheldon squeaked very quietly. She felt her eyes drifting shut and fought to keep them open, to watch him. Proving his memory skills, he allowed his hand to gently cup the weight of her in his palm before scooting closer and turning over on his side to face her. Penny felt herself being gingerly coaxed onto her back and bit her lip. Sheldon's eyes were dark and unblinking as they roamed her body. One large hand settled flat against her stomach and Penny inhaled sharply.

"Sheldon." It was a whisper, almost a plea. She gave her back a dramatic arch as her hand moved around to unclasp the bra. It slackened in the front as Penny lowered herself back to the mattress. Green eyes found his face uncertainly. A moment later his large hands were skimming up her ribcage lightly to touch the straps of the bra. Penny felt herself nod before feeling the physicist pull the garment away slowly.

Penny had been naked in front of her fair share of men. She had made the choice to start pretty young and hadn't looked back. There had been a certain level of discretion, of course. In high school, it had only been basketball players. After that, she'd moved on to guys who were in bands. Since moving to California, she had slept with a couple actors, one whom even had a recurring role on one of the 'Law and Order' shows. Penny was not someone who felt nervous about her body.

Until now.

There was an overwhelming impulse to bring her hands up and cover herself. She settled them nervously on her stomach, barely touching Sheldon's hand. Together, they moved his hand upward and after what felt like a week, his palm settled against her. Penny sighed contentedly.

"Is this correct?" he murmured.

Her eyes slid closed and grinned. "I really don't think you could do it wrong." His words sunk in. "And I didn't think you could ever think about being wrong about anything." He ran his thumbnail across her nipple and Penny let out an involuntary moan. Rising to her elbows, Penny eyed him with heavy lids.

He had the beginnings of a smirk firmly in place on his face. "Was there something you needed, Penny?"

She was grasping a handful of his shirt a moment later and pulled him to her in a searing kiss. He complied and he pressed her back into the mattress. When he finally broke off, Penny realized his hand was still firmly planted on her breast. "Take off your shirt?" she muttered softly as she relaxed back against the pillow once again. Sheldon eyed her unsurely for a moment before pulling it over his head with Penny's help. She tossed it aside and he frowned. Her hands landed on his torso and Sheldon jumped.

"Your hands are cold," he accused lightly. Penny raised an eyebrow. "It could be a sign of poor circulation. Have you been ex-"He was cut off by her lips covering his quickly. She proved her agility by rising up and pushing him back onto his side of the bed. Carefully, she straddled him, settling her lace-covered bottom against his stomach. His hands came up to rest against her back before dancing across her rib cage to touch her breasts again. Penny pressed her palms flat against his surprisingly sturdy chest. "Your nipples seem to indicate you are readying yourself for intercourse." She heaved a labored sigh and threw her head back in frustration.

"You really are trying to kill this mood, aren't you?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

He raised his eyebrows. "On the contrary, I am quite enjoying myself." He pinched her lightly. Penny let out an involuntary whimper. "I believe you are as well." Penny gave him a long hard look under lowered eyelids. A flash of uncertainty shown in Sheldon's eyes before she bent over him to trail butterfly kisses down the side of his neck to his chest. Her breasts brushed against his chest and she felt rather than heard him take a shuddering breath in. She allowed herself a smile before trying to catch his eye. His eyes however were closed and his mouth was moving wordlessly, an endless chant that Penny couldn't hear. Before she could ask what he was doing, she felt it.

Felt _him. _

Penny bit her lip as she tried to ignore her own reaction and slid down his body to grind against him. Sheldon's eyes flew open in shock and Penny gave him a knowing smile before pressing her open palms to his abdomen and grinding again.

And then he was choking and shaking and surging forward with his release, before Penny had even found a rhythm. Pushing her hair out of her eyes, Penny leaned over to kiss him lightly on the lips.

He didn't react at all beyond his labored breathing. After thirty seconds of silence, Penny eyed him concernedly. "Sheldon?" she asked quietly as her fingers grazed his cheek. His eyes finally focused on hers, perfectly clear. "Are you okay?" He nodded mutely before clearing his throat.

"Yes," he finally noted. "Sorry, I didn't expect that."

"I did." She climbed off him as primly as she could and curled up next to him.

"I need to change my pajamas," Sheldon said as he sat up slowly.

Penny tightened her jaw. "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to," she offered.

His turned his gaze on her for a moment. "I just need to change," he continued as he rose from the bed, "and I'll be back."

Penny watched him move toward her doorway. "Just don't knock when you come back." She stretched her arms above her head.

"Yes," Sheldon agreed. "I wouldn't want you to have to put your clothes back on again."

She dropped her jaw and rose up to her elbows. "Dr. Cooper, I believe you are flirting with me." She batted her eyelids at him. He shot her a acerbic look, his cheek twitching. His mouth opened, as if he wanted to say something, but it snapped shut just as quickly as he left. Penny curled up on her side, drawing the covers around herself. She waited only a few minutes for his return, as silent as he left. He slid back into bed on his side behind her and placed his palm against her blanket-covered hip.

"I am unsure of how to…" He paused. "Thank you."

"Any time," she answered quietly. She laced her fingers with his and let her eyes drift shut.


	7. Chapter 7

AN:

I took a (VERY LONG!) break from the show and kind of writing in general and am now back to writing this piece. I hope it lives up to expectations!

xxx

"-now baby I'm sure," Penny sang loudly as she danced around her living room frenetically, arms flailing above her head. "And I just can't wait 'til the day when you knock on my door." She stopped dead at the sight of Sheldon standing silently in her doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "Hey, Sheldon." She beckoned him with one arm. "Come on, dance with me." She spun on the spot with a wide grin.

He watched her for a moment. "No, thank you."

"Sheldon," she whined as she trotted over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Now I'm walkin' on sunshine," she continued along with the song as she forced him to move with her.

"Whoa," he muttered flatly as he allowed her to manipulate his body further. Penny giggled as she drew her arms around his neck. His arms snaked around her waist. "Is there any particular reason you're dancing in your living room in the middle of the day with the door open?"

"I was cleaning," Penny started excitedly. Sheldon opened his mouth. "Shut up," she warned as she raised a finger toward him before taking a breath. "And I got a call and it was Natalie, you know that girl who never does her side work, the one who lives with that guy who refuses to come out and is quote unquote friends with that guys who's doing the internet spread for-"

"Penny," Sheldon cut in. "It would be beneficial to you to breathe."

She paused and took a deep breath. "I got the job," she finished with a grin. She dropped a smacking kiss on his lips.

His eyebrows rose. "You got the job?" She nodded as she pulled him down to kiss him again. "Congratulations," he said after they broke apart.

"Thank you," Penny answered with a grin before leaving his embrace to shut off her stereo. Sheldon shut the door behind himself.

"May I ask after the integrity of this company?" he asked.

Penny rolled her eyes. "It has plenty of integrity, Sheldon."

"You're certain?" he questioned as he clasped his hand behind his back. "Or are you just excited about the possibility of being paid in shoes?"

"Sheldon, they don't barter." She paused. "Although that would be awesome." His facial expression remained neutral and Penny looked at him intently for a moment in silence. "Sheldon?" He raised an eyebrow in anticipation. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Obviously I don't know," Penny reasoned slowly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That would be why I asked." She wasn't trying to be mean or confrontational, but she had determined some time ago that Sheldon was not unlike a small child. It was sometimes difficult to figure out the times to treat him with hugs and a juice box and the times to take away his television privileges. She folded her legs underneath herself as she sat on the couch. Silently patting the cushion next to her, she beckoned him over. Sheldon slowly settled himself next to her. Seconds ticked by as Penny waited for him to speak, but he was merely staring at his hands, spread over his knees. "Now you talk," she finally prompted.

"I am…" He took a deep breath. "I'm giving a lecture this afternoon, and it appears I have what is commonly referred to as a…case of the butterflies."

"Sweetie, that is completely normal," Penny answered with a quick pat on his leg. He nodded ever so slightly in her general direction. "So, this is exciting!" she added as an after thought. "I haven't ever really seen you speak." She thought for a moment. "I mean in front of people who actually want to hear what you have to say."

"Thank you," he replied with a sarcastic smirk.

"Is anyone allowed to attend?" she asked as she turned toward him more fully.

"Technically, yes." Sheldon frowned. "Although I think you would get little out of it."

Her frown matched his. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked as she leaned away from him slightly.

He turned toward her with raised eyebrows and watched her for a moment. "I mean that you don't understand the fundaments of my work." He paused. "I don't think it would be worth your time to attend."

Penny narrowed her eyes at him and simply stared, letting the silence in the room settle over them. "Are you saying you think I'm dumb?" she asked finally.

Sheldon remained silent for several long moments, staring down at his hands folded in his lap. Finally, he opened his mouth to speak. "It would be ridiculous of me to pretend at this point in the conversation that you possess the I.Q. needed to grasp what I will be speaking about."

She felt something tighten in her stomach, continuing to glare at him. He was steadfastly looking straight ahead, toward the television, at the floor. Everywhere but at her. Slowly, Penny felt her anger fading away, being replaced almost imperceptibly with….sadness. The realization settled on her shoulders like a ton of bricks and she exhaled loudly, drawing his attention toward her finally. She licked her lips and swallowed before turning her eyes towards his. "You…that's a yes, right?" She shook her head slightly, but Sheldon's lips remained in an unmoving thin line. "Right, well…I-" She stood awkwardly up from her spot on the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. He glanced up at her, six different expressions playing on his face. Penny couldn't clearly read any of them and frowned, feeling the slight sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. "I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, should I?" she asked quietly before turning and exiting to her bedroom.

She sat on the bed in silence, listening to his movements, hoping for him to come after her. Four minutes go by before she hears Sheldon rise from the couch and exit the apartment.

It wasn't until he was gone that she allowed herself to actually cry.

xxx

"You're just two cool guys," Penny prompted toward the television screen, where Keanu Reeves was currently trying to get a bomb off of a bus. He echoed her words and Penny rolled her eyes before taking another bite of cookie dough from the tube she currently held in her hand.

There was a short knock on the door before it opened to reveal Raj, giving her a nervous expression. "Hi."

"What's up?" Penny mumbled to him with a full mouth. The astrophysicist's face fell further and he took a beat in silence before answering.

"It's 'Lost' night," he responded. "We're starting season four tonight." With that, he held up the box set he been holding behind his back. As a way to reconcile their collective grief at the end to the series, the two of them had decided to start re-watching old seasons. "Jack had just told Kate they had to go back." Raj paused. "He had a beard," he added quietly.

"Right," Penny remarked. "I remember." She reached up to readjust the baseball cap she was wearing before setting down her tube of cookie dough. "I just…guess I'm not really feeling very 'Lost' tonight, Raj."

"So you're watching 'Speed' instead?" he challenged. "How is 'Speed' better than 'Lost'?"

"It's better than season four," Penny shot back quickly. Raj frowned at her before moving farther into the apartment and resting against the arm of Penny's couch. "Sorry, I'm just….not in a good mood I guess."

"Is that because your boyfriend is a giant douche bag?" Raj asked easily with a roll of his eyes.

Penny's jaw tightened. "Did he tell you?" she asked miserably.

"Tell me what?" Raj countered with a smile.

"I'm surprised he even realized he did anything wrong at all," she grumbled as she moved over a cushion, leaving room for Raj to join her.

"Oh no, he didn't."

Penny blinked at him. "What?"

"He didn't realize he had done anything wrong," Raj reaffirmed. "He still doesn't, even after we explained it to him." He shrugged.

"But you guys get it, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But we're not deranged."

She rubbed a hand tiredly over her face before taking a bite of cookie dough in her mouth. She chewed in silence for a moment before offering the tube to the genius next to her. "Does he really not get it?"

Raj finished chewing his mouthful thoughtfully. "No."

Penny chuckled at his bluntness. "No?"

"No," Raj repeated. "And the fact that _you_ don't realize that yet is starting to become a problem."

"Hold on a second there," Penny said with a pointed finger. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Raj sighed and thought for a moment. "Penny, my IQ is one hundred and fifty-eight."

"Yes," she sighed. "I get it, you're smart. You're all smart." She waved her arms in the air.

"That is twenty-nine points below Sheldon's," Raj went on, completely ignoring her. "But he still treats me like I'm an idiot."

"I think you should punch him," Penny interjected flatly.

"I can't believe I'm actually wasting time and energy trying to help Sheldon's relationship for him," Raj commented to himself. Then more loudly, he faced Penny. "The point is, he doesn't think anyone can be on an intellectual level with him. He doesn't treat you any differently than he treats the rest of us."

"But don't you think he should?" she asked pointedly.

"Yes," he answered. "But I also think you should have known better than to start dating him." He paused. "I am disappointed in both of you, actually."

Penny elbowed him playfully. "You think I'm being too sensitive."

Raj nodded slowly. "It is Sheldon after all. Baby steps, Penny."

"Yeah," she answered before sighing. "I'm just ready for him to be a grown up _now." _

"We'll start looking for a 'Zoltar' this weekend," Raj answered with a straight face.

Penny hit him with a pillow.

xxx

A knock on the door a few hours later woke Penny from a light sleep. Throwing off the afghan that had been on top of her, she rose from the couch and ambled toward the door. Before the last repetition could finish, she yanked the door open, staring at Sheldon tiredly.

"Hello," he started, seemingly nervous.

"Hi," Penny answered in a flat tone before turning and going back into her apartment, leaving the door open for him to enter. After a moment, he did just that, shutting the door behind himself. He stood awkwardly, watching her as she folded the afghan and dropped it on the couch. "Are you here to apologize?" she finally asked.

Sheldon reared his head back and gave her a look that clearly said he thought she was crazy. "Why would I need to?"

Penny glared at him for a full thirty seconds before rolling her eyes. "What you said earlier was an…asshole thing to say, Sheldon."

Sheldon frowned. "I wasn't aware I said anything that wasn't true."

Penny sighed and balled her hands into fists to keep from reaching forward and wringing the physicist's neck. "Yes, but there is a difference between being truthful and being hurtful." She gave him a pointed expression.

"Penny," Sheldon started in his patented condescending tone. "It seems disingenuous to say anything other than this." He took a deep breath. "You are not as smart as I am." Penny frowned. "You are messy and you still can not sing, no matter how often you try." Her hands were on his sturdy chest, pressing him back towards the door before he'd even finished his sentence. "I haven't made my point yet," he continued and she dropped her hands from him.

"Whatever," she grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"As I was saying," Sheldon went on with a slight hint of indignation and cleared his throat. "On the other hand, you…" His mouth quirked up on one side as he thought over how best to state his opinion. "You seem to understand many things I could never fathom, and together we…seem to work." Penny chewed her upper lip. "Penny, I refuse to lie to you and if," he paused and shifted his weight and swallowed. "If that is what you are looking for in a mate, someone who will never challenge you in any way, you need to find a pushover you can control." Penny stared at him evenly before lowering her eyes to the ground. "However," he added softly as he took the smallest of steps toward her, "I apologize for making you feel badly."

He was apologizing to her? It didn't seem to compute in Penny's brain correctly. Sheldon didn't apologize to anyone, even when he was clearly wrong. She wanted to move forward and squeeze him so tightly for even understanding. She swallowed hard and nodded slightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

Sheldon nodded curtly. "I am going to sleep at home this evening." Penny swallowed again. "I think it would be better." His voice trailed up at the end, as if he was questioning his own choice.

"Yeah," she agreed belatedly and stepped toward him slowly. He too moved forward, meeting her halfway. "I'll see you tomorrow?" Penny asked quietly. Sheldon nodded before leaning down and gingerly kissing her cheek.

He left the apartment silently without another look at her.

xxx

"Another round?" Penny squinted up at the fuzzy outline of the red-headed server who had been bringing them drinks all night. Penny nodded dazedly before turning her head back toward the conversation that was going on at their table.

"I am telling you, that is a dude!" Raj yelled over the loud bass thump that shook the entire building.

"Stop pointing!" Wolowitz answered, grabbing the astrophysicist's arm and pulling it down. Penny snorted loudly at the sight.

"You doing okay there, Penny?" She glanced up to the side and smiled glassily at Leonard before nodding. "You've been kind of quiet tonight."

"I'm great. I'm really great." She smiled again. "I'm just feeling kind of mellow."

"We need to get her another drink," Howard offered loudly as he leaned across the table toward Penny and Leonard.

"She's bringing another round," Penny answered. She bent over to drop her head onto Leonard's shoulder.

"She better hurry up," Raj announced. "You said we could go back out dancing."

"We can," Penny promised with a nod of her head as she sat back up. The red head returned with a tray full of drinks. Howard sneered at one of the glasses before passing it to the end of the table.

"Diet coke," he said in a mocking tone.

"Thank you," Sheldon answered in a brittle tone.

"I guess I'm just a little down because we have Captain Doom down there sucking all of the fun out of this party," Penny suggested at the top of her voice before all of their eyes landed on Sheldon. He glared at her.

"It's Doctor Doom," he yelled back before taking a long sip from his straw. Penny retaliated by downing her shot and standing abruptly. She slid against the edge of the table and felt Leonard's hand on her back steadying her before she shook him off.

"Let's go," she implored to Raj, taking his hand in hers and pulling him toward the dance floor, a good twenty feet away from their table. He allowed her to weave through the crowds of people, not letting go of her hand. Penny let the loud music settle into her, moving slowly to the beat of the song. Without thinking, she pulled Koothropali closer and threw her arms around his neck. She was determined to have fun tonight, despite the fact that he was trying to ruin it for her.

Nine days. It had been nine days since they'd spoken in any significant way. Beyond 'Pass the ketchup' on 'Halo' night or 'You used all of our milk again' on Wednesday morning, they had not even realized acknowledged each other. It seemed that they were in the middle of what chess players would call a stalemate.

God, she was even thinking like him now.

Raj's fingers rested uncertainly on her naked back for a moment before disappearing again and Penny felt a smirk tug at her lips. When she had stepped into 4A five hours earlier, she had felt four pairs of eyes bug out at the sight of her. She knew she looked pretty good. She had spent time getting ready, sliding into a pair of black leather pants and a matching black halter top. Her eyes were dramatic and smoky and her hair was in a high ponytail, teased as big as she could get it. Platform heels and hoop earrings completed the ensemble. She was going for a touch of Buffy with a light dusting of 1970s hooker. Penny could take a small amount of comfort in the fact that Sheldon had announced he would be joining them for the evening only after he had seen her.

After several songs, Penny pulled Raj back toward the table. Their fingers still entwined, they reached the table with a slight stumble just as Sheldon was rising. There was color to his cheeks and he was overly focusing on pushing his stool in.

He was _mad_.

"Where are you going?" she asked him irritably.

"Home," he answered flatly with a glower in her direction. The lights were getting brighter, edges coming into focus. "Where I should have stayed in the first place." He marched toward the door without another look at any of them.

"How is he going to get home?" Howard asked.

Penny stared after Sheldon's retreating figure for three seconds before her feet made the decision for her mind. She smiled apologetically to the three guys and moved quickly after the tall man. She caught up to him just outside the entrance. "Hey!" she yelled at him and Sheldon turned, clearly surprised that she had followed him. "What is your deal?" She crossed her arms over her chest, not trusting the flimsy material in the slight late night breeze.

"You," he pointed at her accusingly. Penny froze. "You get mad at me because I dare to point out that you aren't a physicist and then proceed to ignore me for nine days." He paused to take a deep breath. "That is twelve thousand nine-hundred and sixty minutes of being ignored," he added in a lower tone. People wandered past them, laughing and stumbling. "And now you have deemed it appropriate to move onto Raj."

He was stumbling back before Penny realized she'd shoved him hard. He paled as he shuffled backwards, wind milling his arms to keep from toppling over. His eyes narrowed at her after he'd found his footing. "Why did you even come tonight, Sheldon?" She was angry now, yelling at him as he retreated from her further until he was butted up against the brick wall of the building. "Was is just to complain and make everyone miserable?" She swallowed hard, willing the tears she was feeling to go away. "Or was it so you could see me acting like the slut you apparently think I am?"

"I don't think you're a slut," he answered instantly. "I think…I think you were trying to hurt me." He couldn't maintain any kind of eye contact.

"I wasn't sure you had feelings," she barreled on acerbically.

"Well then…" He sighed. "Then it's probably good that you broke up with me."

"We didn't break up," Penny yelled, jumping up and down in front of him. She placed one hand on each of his shoulders. "God, don't you think you would know if I had broken up with you?" He flinched at the tone of her voice, looking every inch of a wounded puppy. "No, you don't get to be the sad one here Sheldon." She sighed deeply. "I'm the one who…." She sagged against him slightly. "Why would you think I was moving on to Raj?" she asked miserably.

"You danced with him," Sheldon pointed out.

"He asked me," Penny countered quickly, following it with a shrug.

Sheldon only nodded in silence, still not looking her in the eye. "I…" He turned his head to watch the people coming and going from the club. "I came along because I miss you…and I wanted to be near you." This time it was he who shrugged. "I am unaware of what the proper conclusion to this discussion is."

"Syllables, Sheldon."

"What now?" he continued with a roll of his eyes. "Are we still in the middle of a relationship?"

"Yes," Penny answers with a small smile. "Even if it is a messed up and confusing one." She let out a maniacal shriek and dropped her head into her hands. A moment later, she felt his arms wrap around her unsurely and allowed her weight to settle completely against him.

"You really should have known I was going to be this much of a handful," Sheldon stated after a moment of silence.

Penny couldn't help the bubble of laughter that erupted from her.

xxx

"Gas is right, brake is left," Penny mumbled as she crawled into the passenger side of her car. Sheldon, who was adjusting the seatbelt strap against his chest, gave her a sidelong glare.

"Yes, thank you."

"Just trying to help," Penny offered as she closed her eyes. She heard him unbuckle before climbing over to her side of the car. She cracked one eye open to see his face inches from hers. "Hello there, sailor."

He rolled his eyes at her as he reached around her to grab her seatbelt and engage it. "Easy there," he intoned in a low voice before moving away again. He started the car and put it in reverse. Penny felt her eyes flutter shut again.

xxx

"Are you awake?"

"I'm trying not to be."

"I refuse to carry you up to your apartment. You better stay awake long enough to walk up the stairs unless you wish to sleep in your vehicle."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"Charming."

"Do you want to sleep over?"

"In the capacity of nursemaid to you in your current state of drunkenness?"

"Syllables, Sheldon. I just…missed you."

xxx

She is woken again to the sensation of being lifted from the car. Sheldon is struggling to carry her. She chuckles throatily and follows him toward the building. "Are you always this much of a buzz kill?" Penny asked as she squinted against the harsh fluorescent light of the lobby.

"Did you just meet me?" he asked after a beat of silence. They climbed the stairs together, Sheldon's arm around her waist for support. They reached their landing and he moved forward to open her apartment door for her. She moved past him into her bedroom, kicking off her shoes in the process.

"Your bed is made," he noted in shock.

"Your conditioning is very effective," Penny mumbled as she climbed onto her mattress. "But for the record, sexual favors are a better reward than chocolate." She grinned up at where she thought he probably was, but could no longer keep her eyes open.

"You're going to fall asleep now," he said in a low tone.

Penny hummed for a moment. "Night."

"Goodnight, Penny."

She sighed and burrowed deeper into her pillow.

"I love you."

xxx


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Hey guys! I need to thank you so much for continuing to follow this and especially thank you for the very kind and wonderful words of encouragement that you have given me througout this process. I started the prequel to this story, 'The Dactylic Hexameter' a little over a year ago. That makes this saga by far the longest story I have ever written. Even though TPTB seem dead set against this particular idea, I'm glad that this can be viewed as something realistic that could happen between these two characters that we love so much. Read on!

XXX

One green eye opened, barely, and closed instantly against the glare coming from the bedroom window. She rolled over slowly and tried again. Colors and shapes melted together, but at least she didn't feel as if her eye was on fire anymore. Leaning up on one elbow, Penny glanced down at her body, her head fuzzy. She was dressed in an oversized Huskers jersey she didn't remember putting on and with a quick glance to her side, noticed a pile of clothes very neatly folded on a chair next to the bed. With a groan, she crawled awkwardly off of her mattress and shuffled toward her bedroom door, one hand to her pounding head.

The shades had been drawn across the windows over her small dining table, leaving the living room in shadows that Penny was grateful for. Without opening her eyes any more than she needed to, her feet moved her to the kitchen cupboard that she knew held the bottle of aspirin that was her only chance of turning back into a human girl. She blindly poured a handful into her palm and dry swallowed them with a grimace. As an afterthought, Penny filled a nearby glass with tap water and drank it down without pause.

It wasn't until she dropped the empty glass to her countertop that she noticed him. He was curled up uncomfortably on her couch, bent awkwardly at the knee with his hands folded under his face.

He hadn't even taken his shoes off.

The feeling that washed over her in that moment threatened to expel stomach acid onto her kitchen floor. Of course he had stayed. Why would she have ever thought that he would leave her to fend for herself? Shaking her head, Penny moved slowly back to her bedroom, bypassing the bed itself on her way to the bathroom. She flipped the shower on and turned the knob all the way to the hot side before turning to take in her reflection.

The person who stared back at her from the mirror was someone Penny didn't want to recognize. Dark circles adorned the sallow skin underneath her eyes. She stared for several long minutes at her green irises, the slight upward quirk of one side of her mouth. She knew she was a bad person. Deep down in the ugly parts of her sub-conscious that she pretended weren't there, she knew that what she was currently doing to her nerdy neighbor would probably cause lasting damage.

She stood under the hot spray, letting it run over her face without trying to wipe it from her eyes. After shampooing her hair aggressively and scrubbing hard enough with her loofah to leave marks on her arms, the blonde turned the water all the way over to cold and stood under the stream until she shivered violently. Penny managed to climb out of the tub and dry off without catching her own reflection at all and flipped off the light on the way back to her bedroom. She pulled on a pair of yoga pants and tank top before lifting her cloud patterned hoodie off of the floor. She sniffed it before zipping it up and re-entering her living room.

As quietly as she could, Penny moved past him and settled herself facing him on the coffee table. His face was unsettled, troubled even in sleep. Wincing inwardly, she leaned forward and gently rubbed his forearm. "Sheldon," she murmured softly. His eyes fluttered open and her blinked in confusion for a moment before focusing on her and sat up slowly. "Hey."

He dug the heals of his hand into his eye and rubbed tiredly before answering. "Hello." His voice was still rough with sleep. Penny wasn't sure if she wanted to climb onto his lap or kiss his forehead. Probably both, honestly.

She took a deep breath before starting. "Sheldon, I am so sorry about last night." She swallowed and ran her fingers nervously through her wet hair. "It was just…too much drama and I can't…." She shook her head. "Anyway, I'm sorry."

Sheldon stared at her in silence for thirty seconds before clearing his throat. "That's quite acceptable, Penny." He stood awkwardly and Penny rose as well. "I have been preparing myself for any exit strategy you might put in place for yourself."

"Huh?" she asked eloquently as she trailed him toward the door.

"It seems rather clear you have no intention of turning this into any real sort of relationship," he said flatly without turning to look at her. "I'm not sure what you're doing. But for that matter, I don't think you know either."

"Hold on there, cowboy." Penny hurried around him to block his exit. "Where is this coming from?"

Sheldon met her eye line and Penny felt her insides lurch uncomfortably. "It doesn't matter."

"Sheldon," she answered quietly before touching his arm. "You said you wouldn't lie."

He crossed his arms over his chest in a protective manner that made Penny's chest ache slightly. His expression slid from defiant to sad in a mere ten seconds before he was moving backwards to sit on the arm of her couch again. "The night you brought me to orgasm," he started in a low voice and Penny sucked in a surprised breath. "I had the intention of…returning the favor…" He seemed so sweet and uncertain. "But you went to sleep instead." He exhaled a deep breath before meeting her expression.

"Sweetie," she said as she moved to stand between his legs and draped her arms over his shoulders. "You are welcome to give me an orgasm any time you feel like it." He blushed and looked down toward the floor. "I just…I don't ever want to push you, you know?"

"Having goals in life is prudent," Sheldon countered quietly.

Penny chuckled. "You're weird."

"And you're a lush," Sheldon shot back with a roll of his eyes.

"Do you want to do something tonight after I get off?" she asked.

He cleared his throat and stood again. "That would be acceptable," he answered with a slight nod. "If you will excuse me, I have to go get ready for paintball."

"Kill 'em, babe!" she exclaimed before patting him on the butt. His cheeks flushed but beyond that, he failed to acknowledge her. He left silently and Penny yawned to herself before curling up on the still warm couch and letting her eyes slide shut.

XXX

She reached up and tugged the hair tie out of her unruly bun and shook her head quickly. Running her fingers through her hair, Penny wrenched the door open and stepped into the lobby of her building. His back was to her, as he retrieved mail from his numbered box and Penny allowed a small smile to quirk her mouth upwards.

"Hey," she greeted him. He turned at the sound of her voice, a calm smile on his own face.

"Hello, Penny."

She moved toward him to get her own mail. "Aw, were you down here waiting for me?" she asked in a sarcastically sweet voice. Penny jammed her key into the small slot and turned it before pulling the door open. She turned her head to catch his expression. He was frowning.

"That would have no purpose, as you would be likely to come over to our apartment when you got home," he answered in his gratingly matter-of-fact tone. "It's merely a coincidence that I was in the lobby when you returned from work." He began to look through the stack of mail he held in his hands as he waited for her to grab her own. She did with a sigh and shut the door before turning to face him again.

"Yeah, Sheldon. I know." She smirked at him as they climbed the stairs shoulder to shoulder. "I was just…being stupid." Penny realized he'd stopped moving and looked down a step.

"I don't see how your intelligence has any bearing on this conversation," he said with a furrowed brow.

Penny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from chuckling at his confused expression. "No, I was…." She shook her head slightly. "Never mind. Let's start again, okay?"

"Very well," Sheldon answered as he continued to climb slowly next to her.

"So Sheldon," she began again. "Good afternoon." He rolled his eyes at her bright smile. "How was paintball."

"We lost to a group of radiologists from Sacred Heart Hospital," he replied flatly.

"I'm sorry," she answered truthfully as she looked up at him.

"I was forced once again to broach the topic of conversation that involved replacing Wolowitz with you, but was voted down….again," he added in a pained voice.

"I'm not going to be Yoko more than I already am, thanks." She grinned as she began sorting through her mail.

"I'm not aware of that reference," he stated almost instantly.

"I'm shocked," she chided good-naturedly. He rolled his eyes again. "So, what do you want to do tonight?"

"I was thinking about pizza. And I think it is your turn to pick a movie," he answered hesitantly.

Penny paused as they reached their landing. "Really?" she asked after a moment of silence. "This seems like a trap," she added doubtfully. Sheldon opened his mouth. "Don't," she warned, cutting him off before he could launch into his Corporal Squidface impression.

Sheldon frowned at her for a moment before replying. "I chose the last film we watched together."

"Okay," Penny answered slowly. "You're not going to change your mind on me here?"

"There's no way to answer that truthfully, Penny. I haven't as of yet." He moved toward his door.

"Give me time to change," she called to him. "I'm feeling like maybe….'You've Got Mail' tonight."

Sheldon frowned. "Is there any chance that is about the upstart of AOL?" he asked hopefully.

"No, but it does have Steve Zahn in it," Penny answered helpfully.

"Well then, that's pretty much the same thing," Sheldon replied flatly. Penny chuckled.

"You will love it," she called over her shoulder as she entered her apartment, feeling his eyes on her as she closed her door.

XXX

"That movie was extremely predictable, I must say." Sheldon announced as the credits began to roll. He rose from the couch to collect the dirty plates from her coffee table.

"Whatever, Edward Grimley." Penny rolled her eyes at his retreating form.

"Once again, I find you referring to something that I don't understand." He set the plates in the sink and turned to face her. "I am merely stating that it seemed quite obvious that Tom Hanks was going to fall in love with Meg Ryan."

"Really?" Penny asked sarcastically as she climbed off of the couch.

"Of course," Sheldon scoffed. "No one would believe that they were really going to spend their lives hating each other. I have seen very few of these so called 'Rom Coms'," he added with hooked fingers in the air to signify air quotes, "but even I could tell that."

"And why do you think that is?" Penny asked with a straight face. The fact that he was acting even slightly philosophical was quite entertaining.

"It would seem fairly obvious, Penny." Sheldon approached her, his hands clasped behind his back. "Hate, I have come to understand, is quite a strong emotion."

"Agreed," Penny answered with a firm nod.

"But, hate can quite easily turn into love, it would seem." He held her gaze and she felt something inside of her tighten. "Rather, it would seem indifference is really the emotion that would appear to be a lost cause."

Penny moved towards him and place a hand flat against his chest. "Sheldon, if you actually have a secret longing for Kripke, now is the time to tell me." He glared at her in response as he moved past her to pick up their glasses from the table. She turned toward him and collided with him, her eyes widening as she felt Diet Coke slosh down the front of her shirt.

"Well," she noted as she looked down at herself. "That sucked."

"Penny, I apologize," he answered quietly as he set their glasses back down on the table. He looked at her unsurely for a moment and Penny felt her feet moving before her brain could catch up. She grabbed a handful of his t-shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. He returned it fervently, but pulled away a moment later, extracting her hand from him. "You'll stretch my shirt out," he admonished as he flattened it back over his ribs.

"You're such a diva," Penny noted with a giggle.

Sheldon rolled his eyes at her. "Why don't you go shower and I'll finish cleaning up," he said as he bent to once again pick up their dirty drinking glasses.

Penny smiled at him as her right hand touched the sticky stain that was forming on her shirt. "Wow, then everybody wins I guess." She didn't acknowledge the small grin she saw on Sheldon's face. She moved forward and dropped a quick kiss to his jaw line before hurrying toward her bedroom, pulling her shirt over her head before she had the door shut. She carelessly dropped dirty clothes along the floor all the way to the bathroom. Once in there, Penny stepped under the water and began to clean herself quickly.

It had only been about fourteen hours since she'd been here last, but she was honestly just as confused as before. All of her weird stupid girl feelings she'd been having were still present, although not as near the surface. She and Sheldon were fine though, and that was what was important. They were fine. No, they were great. They would have to be. They were. He'd even said he'd wanted to give her a… Penny began to rinse shampoo out of her hair, refusing to focus on what he had implied, no what he had said this morning. She had to be the smarter one here, because she knew he thought he was ready for stuff that he wasn't really.

She shut the tap off and climbed out to dry off. Once that was done, she quickly put on the only clean pair of pajamas she could find. The blue flannel ones that made her feel like a kindergartener. She exited the bedroom to find Sheldon bent over her sink washing dishes. He turned and she watched his eyes rake over her slowly before offering her a weak smile and turning back to the sink. She silently picked up a towel and began drying the clean dishes, standing as close to him as she could.

"Can we talk?" she asked after several minutes of silence.

Sheldon turned to take her in. "It would seem, as we each have vocal chords, that-"

"Sheldon," Penny cut in, a pleading tone in her voice.

He stopped and reached into the sink to drain the water from it before gesturing toward the couch. Penny handed him the towel she was holding so he could dry his hands before turning to walk to her couch. They sat in silence for another moment before he finally cleared his throat.

"Was there something specific you wanted to discuss?" he asked.

"I just feel like…" Penny collapsed onto the couch cushion, tucking her feet underneath her. She sighed and pulled the ends of her sleeves over her hands nervously. "We've been doing…this," she gestured the air between them. "…whatever this is…for a while now." She raked her fingers through her wet hair and flipped it over her shoulder.

"Three months, three weeks and six days," Sheldon answered with a slow nod.

Penny froze and looked over at him for a moment. "I'll take your word on that, sweetie."

"However, I am counting from New Year's. If you wanted to count from our first actual…date, it's less than that obviously. We-"

"Sheldon," she cut him off, grabbing his hand in order to get his attention. "Hold onto the Rain Man routine for a minute, okay?"

"It's really just basic math Penny," Sheldon corrected.

"Do you see this going somewhere?" she asked quietly, ignoring his statement.

He raised his eyebrows. "Everything has to go somewhere."

"No," Penny responded slowly with a shake of her head. "It could stay put right where it is."

He flinched slightly before shrugging his shoulders in silence. She watched as the muscle in the left cheek twitched and he blinked three times before opening his mouth to speak. "I…enjoy the relationship that we have built for ourselves."

Penny turned more toward him and laced her fingers with his. "What do you like about it?" she asked.

"Well," he replied after a moment of surprise. He glanced down at their hands and then up at her patient face. She smiled encouragingly at him and squeezed his hand. His cheeks colored. "I always have someone who will side with me when I get into arguments with Leonard or Howard or Raj." He paused and looked back down at their hands. "And someone to make sure nobody touches my food when I go to the bathroom." He met her gaze with a leveling stare. "You would never let anyone else touch my food."

"I've learned my lesson," Penny said with a mockingly straight face. His eyes narrowed at her, but there was an unmistakable glint of humor there. "And that is enough for you?"

"What else would you be thinking of?" he asked.

"I am thinking of….I don't know, Sheldon." She pulled her hand away and dug through her wet hair again. "The future? My biological clock?" She bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm talking about being three months into a relationship where we still don't even sit next to each other if our friends are around."

"Do you wish to make out in front of Wolowitz?" Sheldon asked as he rubbed his hands down the fronts of his pants.

"God," Penny groaned and fell back against the cushions of the couch. "No."

"Penny," he continued in a low tone. "Leonard still isn't comfortable with our…current arrangement. And I feel strangely guilty when he is around, as if I have done something wrong." He paused and then shrugged. "Which I know I haven't." He paused and she watched as he focused his attention on her knee. "Do you wish to procreate with me?"

Penny choked slightly and felt her face heat up. "Don't call it that."

"Do you?"

"Those…" She rose from the couch and crossed her arms over her chest. "Those were just stupid examples of…I don't know." She threw her arms over her head. "I'm not getting any younger."

"It would be impossible to get younger," Sheldon answered as he stood up to approach her. "You are only twenty-four years old as it is." He crossed his arms over his chest and came to a stop in front of her. "Are children important to you?"

Penny shrugged and refused to meet his eyes. "I don't know." She sighed. "Yes, when I know that I'm with the right guy and that it is going to last."

She knew he was studying her again, and ignored the impulse to move toward him, ask for an embrace. God, what was wrong with her anyway? She had a great guy who seemed to really like her and she managed to both hold him at arm's length and demand that he wasn't close enough to her? She crossed her arms over her chest protectively and stared down at Sheldon's shoes.

"You said something last night as you were in the process of…passing out," he said quietly. She heard him swallow and glanced up at him nervously. His face reflected every nerve she was feeling. "You told me you loved me."

Penny felt like crawling under the bed for a week. She closed her eyes tightly and wrapped her arms more tightly around her midsection. "I'm sorry."

Sheldon gave a small cough. "Telling someone you love them is customary when you've been dating for a certain duration."

"That's only right if you mean it," Penny mumbled and in the next instant wished she could have pulled it back into her mouth. The color drained from Sheldon's face.

He exhaled slowly. "You're apologizing because you didn't mean it," he ascertained in a soft voice.

"No," Penny answered in a slow tone as she moved toward him. "I'm apologizing because while…" She sighed. "It should be a great thing to say and a great thing to have said to you, it wasn't the right time to….do that." She shook her head sadly. "Sheldon, quite frankly I never known when something is going to freak you out and you'll flake on me." She stepped forward and placed her hands on his upper arms. "I'm worried…about it constantly and the fact that your leaving me has me this worried is…completely fucked up, Sheldon." He swallowed and tightened his jaw. "Because yes, I do and I know the second I say it and you're not ready to hear it and you tell me that you can't or…" She feels tears forming in the corners of her eyes and looks up at the ceiling in an effort to keep them at bay. "Or _won't_, it gets that much sadder to be me. I just…" She shook her head and wiped angrily at the single tear that rolled down her cheek before letting a humorless bark of laughter escape her throat.

She felt his arms move underneath her fingertips and then they were wrapped around her firmly, pulling her against his form completely. She nestled herself against him, breathing into his neck. "Penny, I don't know…what it really means to love." Penny pulled far enough away to take in his expression. "I mean, I know I love my family in a 'They're my family' kind of way." Penny felt herself nodding and his hands tightened on her back. "But the way I feel when I'm around you… is something I can't really seem to be able to put into words." He flinched ever so slightly. "I don't know what it is, but it…makes me quite uncomfortable a great deal of the time." Penny opened her mouth, but couldn't make any words come out. "But it is a rather pleasant uncomfortable," he added, staring at her meaningfully. "Like the sensation that people incorrectly refer to as butterflies in their stomach I imagine." Penny grinned and launched herself more fully into his embrace. He hugged her back in silence for a moment. "You know," he continued, "Your worries about my leaving you are clearly unfounded, as you are most definitely the flakier of the two of us."

Penny shoved him playfully and glared up at him.

"Honestly, you are a part of my schedule now," Sheldon stated softly. "Taking you back out is quite a bit more work than I am up to." He shrugged. Penny smiled widely at him before yawning suddenly. "You didn't really sleep all that well last night," he pointed out to her in a mothering tone of voice. "You should go to bed."

He would never have to say it to her. Penny knew he loved her. She grinned again and stood up on her tip toes. "You know, last night you slept on the couch," she whispered.

"Yes, well I didn't want to get vomited on," Sheldon whispered back, even as his mouth moved closer to hers.

"I think you're safe tonight," Penny answered with a smile. "I mean, if you're up for it." Penny kissed him quickly before stepping away. His mouth followed hers for a moment before remembering himself and straightening back up again.

"Your couch is very short," Sheldon noted with a disdainful glance backwards at the offending piece of furniture. "It hurt my neck."

"Why didn't you just go back to your apartment?" Penny asked with an empathetic chuckle.

Sheldon looked at her as if she'd said something in Mandarin Chinese. "I didn't want to leave you in case you weren't okay." Penny kissed him again, cupping his cheeks with her fingertips fiercely.

"You are very sweet," she murmured before taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

"Yes, it's a curse."

XXX

And now I ask you to chime in with your opinions on something for a future chapter. Awesomest female superhero? The less obvious, the better!


End file.
